It's so cold that the band changed their name to Red Cold Chili Peppers.
It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It’s so cold we didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
It’s so cold that Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.
It’s so cold dogs are wearing cats.
It’s so cold kids are using a new excuse to stay up late: “But Mom, my pajamas haven’t thawed out yet!”
It's so cold that the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses.
It's so cold that the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
It’s so cold that the snowflakes froze in the air and birds used them as stepping stones to get from tree to tree.
It's so cold that when cows are milked, ice cream comes out.
It’s so cold the flames of our fire froze.
It’s so cold the local graveyard put heaters out for the ghosts.
It’s so cold I walk to school with a toaster in my pants.
It’s so cold I saw a gangsta with his pants pulled up.
It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.
It’s so cold my mail shattered when I tried to open it.
It's so cold that our words froze in midair — we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we could hear what we were talking about.
It’s so cold that Grandpa’s teeth are chattering – in the glass!
It’s so cold pickpockets are sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm.
It’s so cold I saw Superman taking a taxi.
It’s so cold my shadow ended up freezing on the sidewalk.
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It’s so cold I left Starbuck with mocha lattes and by the time I got to the car I had fudgicles.
It’s so cold we had to punch a hole in the air just to get outside.
It’s so cold sheep were demanding their wool back.
It’s so cold teenagers began to worry about getting goosebumps rather than acne.
It’s so cold that when I dialed the emergency number, there was a recording that said to call back in spring.
It’s so cold that bed bugs promised not to bite you as long as they can snuggle in your pajamas.
It’s so cold Levi Strauss started making electric jeans.
It was so cold when I turned on the shower, I got hail.
It’s so cold I actually enjoyed someone spilling hot coffee in my lap.
It’s so cold the police told a robber to freeze, and he really did.
It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It was so cold when I blinked my eyes froze shut.
It’s so cold the cosmetics counter at the local department store started selling cream for goosebumps.
It’s so cold washroom attendants have started putting salt boxes next to the toilets.
It's so cold that lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
It’s so cold you could rob me with a bucket of water right now!!
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
It’s so cold that even the polar bears started drinking hot chocolate.
It’s so cold mailmen watch out for both dogs and polar bears.
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
It was so cold that we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
It’s so cold I swapped my pillow for a grill.
It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
It’s so cold our hats have turned into ice caps.
It's so cold that Starbucks started serving coffee on a stick.
It’s so cold that the Statue of Liberty put her torch inside her dress!
It’s so cold my hat wrapped itself in a scarf.
It’s so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp post.
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