It’s so cold my hat wrapped itself in a scarf.
It’s so cold I saw a gangsta with his pants pulled up.
It’s so cold we had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!
It’s so cold I saw Superman taking a taxi.
It’s so cold that bed bugs promised not to bite you as long as they can snuggle in your pajamas.
It’s so cold that even the polar bears started drinking hot chocolate.
It’s so cold we have to put skates on just to move around the house.
It’s so cold the police told a robber to freeze, and he really did.
It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
It’s so cold the rats in the alley were bribing the cats for a snuggle.
It's so cold that our words froze in midair — we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we could hear what we were talking about.
It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It was so cold the mice were playing ice hockey in the toilet bowl.
It’s so cold I left Starbuck with mocha lattes and by the time I got to the car I had fudgicles.
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.
It's so cold that the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
It’s so cold travel agencies are advertising tropical holidays to Alaska.
It’s so cold my shadow ended up freezing on the sidewalk.
It’s so cold every kind of cereal in the cupboard is frosted – including the boxes!
It’s so cold that when I dialed the emergency number, there was a recording that said to call back in spring.
It’s so cold people with spiked hair were being arrested for carrying around a dangerous weapon.
It’s so cold our table cutlery now includes a saw.
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It’s so cold teenagers began to worry about getting goosebumps rather than acne.
It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.
It was so cold when I turned on the shower, I got hail.
It’s so cold cops are tasering themselves.
It’s so cold that even the ATM shows minus.
It’s so cold we had to punch a hole in the air just to get outside.
It’s so cold dogs are wearing cats.
It’s so cold walruses were visiting the hardware store in search of more insulation.
It's so cold that trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
It's so cold that lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
It’s so cold the flames of our fire froze.
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It’s so cold that the Statue of Liberty put her torch inside her dress!
It’s so cold we have to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our clothes!
It's so cold that Starbucks started serving coffee on a stick.
It’s so cold I tried to take out the garbage, but it refused to go.
It was so cold that we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
It’s so cold I actually enjoyed someone spilling hot coffee in my lap.
It’s so cold a glacier was seen heading slowly down the main street of our town.
It’s so cold our hats have turned into ice caps.
It’s so cold fish were jumping out of the ice holes and straight into the frying pan.
It’s so cold that Grandpa’s teeth are chattering – in the glass!
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It’s so cold we didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
It’s so cold I had to eat ice cream just to warm up.
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