It's so cold that I’m drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.
It’s so cold washroom attendants have started putting salt boxes next to the toilets.
It’s so cold the anticipation of waiting for my ketchup to come out of the bottle lasted three months.
It’s so cold that even the polar bears started drinking hot chocolate.
It’s so cold we have to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our clothes!
It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It’s so cold it’s colder than any room packed with ex-wives.
It’s so cold we were afraid to spit because it can ricochet.
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.
It’s so cold we didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It’s so cold ice cubes are coming out of my tap.
It’s so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp post.
It’s so cold we had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!
It’s so cold Levi Strauss started making electric jeans.
It’s so cold travel agencies are advertising tropical holidays to Alaska.
It was so cold when I blinked my eyes froze shut.
It’s so cold I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
It’s so cold pickpockets are sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm.
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
It’s so cold the rats in the alley were bribing the cats for a snuggle.
It’s so cold I actually enjoyed someone spilling hot coffee in my lap.
It’s so cold mailmen watch out for both dogs and polar bears.
It was so cold that I saw a Greyhound bus and the dog was riding on the inside.
It’s so cold refrigerators are redundant.
It’s so cold our hats have turned into ice caps.
It’s so cold the police told a robber to freeze, and he really did.
It’s so cold I walk to school with a toaster in my pants.
It's so cold that people look forward to getting a fever.
It’s so cold that Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.
It’s so cold a glacier was seen heading slowly down the main street of our town.
It's so cold that when cows are milked, ice cream comes out.
It’s so cold people with spiked hair were being arrested for carrying around a dangerous weapon.
It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It’s so cold mum used a saw to serve us milk.
It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.
It's so cold that the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
It’s so cold our table cutlery now includes a saw.
It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
It’s so cold fish were jumping out of the ice holes and straight into the frying pan.
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
It was so cold the mice were playing ice hockey in the toilet bowl.
It’s so cold my mail shattered when I tried to open it.
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It’s so cold that Grandpa’s teeth are chattering – in the glass!
It's so cold that the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses.
It's so cold that lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
It’s so cold sheep were demanding their wool back.
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