It’s so cold sheep were demanding their wool back.
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.
It's so cold that the band changed their name to Red Cold Chili Peppers.
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
It’s so cold my mail shattered when I tried to open it.
It’s so cold my shadow ended up freezing on the sidewalk.
It’s so cold the police told a robber to freeze, and he really did.
It’s so cold we didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
It’s so cold you could rob me with a bucket of water right now!!
It’s so cold pickpockets are sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm.
It’s so cold a glacier was seen heading slowly down the main street of our town.
It’s so cold we had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It’s so cold my hat wrapped itself in a scarf.
It was so cold the mice were playing ice hockey in the toilet bowl.
It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.
It’s so cold I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
It’s so cold the local graveyard put heaters out for the ghosts.
It’s so cold kids are using a new excuse to stay up late: “But Mom, my pajamas haven’t thawed out yet!”
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It's so cold that I’m drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.
It was so cold that we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
It's so cold that Starbucks started serving coffee on a stick.
It was so cold when I turned on the shower, I got hail.
It's so cold that trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
It’s so cold the anticipation of waiting for my ketchup to come out of the bottle lasted three months.
It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It's so cold that polar bears wear jackets.
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
It’s so cold the cosmetics counter at the local department store started selling cream for goosebumps.
It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
It’s so cold dogs are wearing cats.
It’s so cold our hats have turned into ice caps.
It’s so cold we have to put skates on just to move around the house.
It’s so cold cops are tasering themselves.
It’s so cold ice cubes are coming out of my tap.
It’s so cold that the snowflakes froze in the air and birds used them as stepping stones to get from tree to tree.
It’s so cold we were afraid to spit because it can ricochet.
It’s so cold people with spiked hair were being arrested for carrying around a dangerous weapon.
It's so cold that lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
It’s so cold I tried to take out the garbage, but it refused to go.
It’s so cold washroom attendants have started putting salt boxes next to the toilets.
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
It’s so cold walruses were visiting the hardware store in search of more insulation.
It’s so cold mailmen watch out for both dogs and polar bears.
It’s so cold I saw a gangsta with his pants pulled up.
It was so cold that I saw a Greyhound bus and the dog was riding on the inside.
It’s so cold that I have to wave a blow-torch in front of my nose just to have a sneeze.
It’s so cold that bed bugs promised not to bite you as long as they can snuggle in your pajamas.
Go to BabaMail
