It’s so cold that even the polar bears started drinking hot chocolate.
It's so cold that Starbucks started serving coffee on a stick.
It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.
It’s so cold sheep were demanding their wool back.
It’s so cold cops are tasering themselves.
It’s so cold I had to eat ice cream just to warm up.
It’s so cold that when I dialed the emergency number, there was a recording that said to call back in spring.
It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It was so cold that we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
It's so cold that the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
It’s so cold that bed bugs promised not to bite you as long as they can snuggle in your pajamas.
It was so cold when I blinked my eyes froze shut.
It’s so cold I saw Superman taking a taxi.
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It’s so cold we have to put skates on just to move around the house.
It’s so cold the anticipation of waiting for my ketchup to come out of the bottle lasted three months.
It’s so cold ice cubes are coming out of my tap.
It's so cold that trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
It’s so cold our table cutlery now includes a saw.
It's so cold that the band changed their name to Red Cold Chili Peppers.
It’s so cold the local graveyard put heaters out for the ghosts.
It’s so cold you could rob me with a bucket of water right now!!
It’s so cold kids are using a new excuse to stay up late: “But Mom, my pajamas haven’t thawed out yet!”
It’s so cold our hats have turned into ice caps.
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
It’s so cold the cosmetics counter at the local department store started selling cream for goosebumps.
It's so cold that polar bears wear jackets.
It’s so cold my mail shattered when I tried to open it.
It's so cold that I’m drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.
It’s so cold that when we baked the frozen pizza in the oven for 25 minutes, it was still frozen.
It’s so cold refrigerators are redundant.
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
It’s so cold I actually enjoyed someone spilling hot coffee in my lap.
It’s so cold that even the ATM shows minus.
It’s so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp post.
It's so cold that people started chipping their teeth on soup!
It’s so cold mailmen watch out for both dogs and polar bears.
It’s so cold walruses were visiting the hardware store in search of more insulation.
It was so cold when I turned on the shower, I got hail.
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
It’s so cold that the Statue of Liberty put her torch inside her dress!
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It’s so cold that Grandpa’s teeth are chattering – in the glass!
It's so cold that our words froze in midair — we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we could hear what we were talking about.
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
It’s so cold I tried to take out the garbage, but it refused to go.
It’s so cold the rats in the alley were bribing the cats for a snuggle.
It's so cold hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
It’s so cold teenagers began to worry about getting goosebumps rather than acne.