It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
It’s so cold mailmen watch out for both dogs and polar bears.
It was so cold when I turned on the shower, I got hail.
It’s so cold I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
It was so cold the mice were playing ice hockey in the toilet bowl.
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
It's so cold that I’m drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.
It’s so cold we were afraid to spit because it can ricochet.
It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It’s so cold my shadow ended up freezing on the sidewalk.
It’s so cold dogs are wearing cats.
It’s so cold I swapped my pillow for a grill.
It’s so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp post.
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It's so cold that the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses.
It’s so cold that the snowflakes froze in the air and birds used them as stepping stones to get from tree to tree.
It’s so cold the police told a robber to freeze, and he really did.
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
It's so cold that our words froze in midair — we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we could hear what we were talking about.
It's so cold that when cows are milked, ice cream comes out.
It’s so cold my hat wrapped itself in a scarf.
It’s so cold we had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!
It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.
It’s so cold you could rob me with a bucket of water right now!!
It’s so cold I had to eat ice cream just to warm up.
It’s so cold walruses were visiting the hardware store in search of more insulation.
It's so cold that people started chipping their teeth on soup!
It’s so cold that the Statue of Liberty put her torch inside her dress!
It's so cold that people look forward to getting a fever.
It was so cold when I blinked my eyes froze shut.
It’s so cold that bed bugs promised not to bite you as long as they can snuggle in your pajamas.
It’s so cold I saw Superman taking a taxi.
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It’s so cold that Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.
It's so cold that Starbucks started serving coffee on a stick.
It was so cold that we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It’s so cold that Grandpa’s teeth are chattering – in the glass!
It's so cold hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
It’s so cold that I’m breathing out snowflakes!
It's so cold that the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
It’s so cold pickpockets are sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm.
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It’s so cold kids are using a new excuse to stay up late: “But Mom, my pajamas haven’t thawed out yet!”
It’s so cold that I have to wave a blow-torch in front of my nose just to have a sneeze.
It’s so cold it’s colder than any room packed with ex-wives.
It's so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.
It’s so cold the flames of our fire froze.
It’s so cold cops are tasering themselves.
It's so cold that the band changed their name to Red Cold Chili Peppers.
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