It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
It's so cold that polar bears wear jackets.
It’s so cold washroom attendants have started putting salt boxes next to the toilets.
It's so cold that lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
It’s so cold our hats have turned into ice caps.
It’s so cold our table cutlery now includes a saw.
It’s so cold fish were jumping out of the ice holes and straight into the frying pan.
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
It's so cold that when cows are milked, ice cream comes out.
It's so cold hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
It’s so cold I tried to take out the garbage, but it refused to go.
It’s so cold I walk to school with a toaster in my pants.
It’s so cold I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
It’s so cold we had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!
It's so cold that the band changed their name to Red Cold Chili Peppers.
It’s so cold we have to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our clothes!
It was so cold when I blinked my eyes froze shut.
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It's so cold that trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
It’s so cold that the snowflakes froze in the air and birds used them as stepping stones to get from tree to tree.
It's so cold that I’m drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.
It’s so cold kids are using a new excuse to stay up late: “But Mom, my pajamas haven’t thawed out yet!”
It’s so cold that even the ATM shows minus.
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.
It’s so cold a glacier was seen heading slowly down the main street of our town.
It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It’s so cold my hat wrapped itself in a scarf.
It's so cold that people look forward to getting a fever.
It’s so cold the rats in the alley were bribing the cats for a snuggle.
It's so cold that Starbucks started serving coffee on a stick.
It’s so cold you could rob me with a bucket of water right now!!
It’s so cold teenagers began to worry about getting goosebumps rather than acne.
It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It’s so cold that bed bugs promised not to bite you as long as they can snuggle in your pajamas.
It was so cold the mice were playing ice hockey in the toilet bowl.
It’s so cold Levi Strauss started making electric jeans.
It’s so cold that Grandpa’s teeth are chattering – in the glass!
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It's so cold that the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses.
It’s so cold that Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.
It’s so cold we had to punch a hole in the air just to get outside.
It’s so cold we have to put skates on just to move around the house.
It’s so cold I actually enjoyed someone spilling hot coffee in my lap.
It’s so cold that when we baked the frozen pizza in the oven for 25 minutes, it was still frozen.
It’s so cold I swapped my pillow for a grill.
It’s so cold we were afraid to spit because it can ricochet.
It’s so cold that I’m breathing out snowflakes!
It’s so cold I saw Superman taking a taxi.
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
It’s so cold that I have to wave a blow-torch in front of my nose just to have a sneeze.
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