Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
Chuck Norris doesn't have good aim. His bullets just know better than to miss.
When Chuck Norris smokes a joint
the weed gets high of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will change the spelling.
Waldo once insulted chuck norris.
And we all know how THAT'S going.
Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to flush the toilet. He simply goes "Boo!" and anything in the bowl promptly rushes away.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes.
Chuck Norris doesn't pet any animals. Animals pet themselves when he approaches them.
Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at a Burger King. He got it.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Why did Chuck Norris wear knee pads?
He never liked Bruised Knee.
Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
Some kids pee their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name in dry concrete.
Chuck Norris is a coward!
If that sucker was so brave as people say he would show up here right now and smash my head against my key
Chuck Norris can delete the recycling bin.
Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe, he holds air hostage.
Chuck Norris fell down from a 10 story building.
people start gathering around him, asking "What happened? what happened?"
Chuck: "Don't know, I just got here."
When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.
Chuck Norris used to beat up his shadow because it was following too close. It now stands 15 feet behind him.
Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins.
Chuck Norris doesn’t mow his lawn
He sits on his porch and dares it to grow.
When Chuck Norris moved out, his dad became the man of the house.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can ski up a mountain.
Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. Too many tsunamis.
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
Chuck Norris won a 10 minute race after giving his competitors a 10 minute head start.
Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.
Chuck Norris caught Covid-19 yesterday
The virus is quarantined for two weeks
Chuck Norris drinks napalm to fight his heartburn.
Chuck Norris’ cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.
When Chuck Norris goes scuba diving
He gives the water the bends.
The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.
The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people
Then the grenade exploded.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a roof in his house
Cold and wind don't dare come in.
When Bruce Banner gets mad he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets mad, run.
In the Beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.
Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.
Go to BabaMail
