Chuck Norris caught COVID.
But then he felt bad, so he let it go.
Chuck Norris doesn't ever call the wrong number. You just answer the wrong phone.
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
Chuck Norris has died.
He has since recovered from this mild inconvenience.
Chuck Norris can only have Chuck Norris as babies.
Because all of his genes are dominant.
Chuck Norris can ski up a mountain.
Chuck Norris never retreats; He just attacks in the opposite direction.
Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people
Then the grenade exploded.
Waldo once insulted chuck norris.
And we all know how THAT'S going.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on,
he turns the dark off.
Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
Chuck Norris once stared into the abyss...
It blinked.
If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would both win.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
On the 7th day, God rested … and Chuck Norris took over.
One time Chuck Norris peed in the gas tank of a semi truck as a practical joke.
That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris can stand at the bottom of a bottomless pit.
Chuck Norris changed a lightbulb...
With one hand he held the bulb, with the other he turned the house.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Chuck Norris doesn’t shower, he only takes blood baths.
What does Chuck Norris say when fishing?
"you, you and you, get out."
Before he forgot to bring a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick butt at the same time
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
Chuck Norris fell down from a 10 story building.
people start gathering around him, asking "What happened? what happened?"
Chuck: "Don't know, I just got here."
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin about.
Why did Chuck Norris wear knee pads?
He never liked Bruised Knee.
Chuck Norris once went to mars. Thats why there are no signs of life.
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will change the spelling.
When Chuck Norris smokes a joint
the weed gets high of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at a Burger King. He got it.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris has a diary. It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
Chuck Norris has a gun for breakfast at ate a glock every morning.
It’s a little known fact that chuck Norris was dropped twice as a child.
Once on Hiroshima and once on Nagasaki.
This morning Chuck Norris was shot.
Check the news, The bullet is in critical condition
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, because no one fools Chuck Norris.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
In Pamplona, Spain, the people may be running from the bulls, but the bulls are running from Chuck Norris.
Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.
Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
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