Why did the blonde give up online shopping?
The trolley kept falling off the computer.
Baseball Fan: Have you ever seen a line drive?
Blond Baseball Fan: No, but I have seen a baseball park.
A blond loses his check book, so he goes to the bank 2 days later to report it.
Bank manager: I warned you to be careful with your check book, because anyone can forge your signature.
Man: "I'm not a fool. I already signed all the checks so there is no space to forge my signature!"
Why do blondes wear hooped ear rings. So they have somewhere to put their feet when having se*.
Why do blondes take the pill? So they know what day of the week it is.
What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear? "Thanks for the refill!"
Why did the blonde have square boobs? Because she forgot to take the tissues out of the boxes.
How does a blonde kill a worm?
She buries it.
“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blonde to her friend.
There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home? She moved.
How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves? She fell out of the tree.
Why did the blonde put sugar on her bed? Because she wanted sweet dreams!
A blond meets up with a friend as she's picking up her car from the mechanic.
"Everything ok with your car now?"
"Yes, thank goodness," the blond replies.
"Weren't you worried the mechanic might try to rip you off?"
"Yeah, but he didn't. I was so relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid!"
How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? Knock on the door.
A blond rings up an airline.
She asks, "How long are your flights from America to England?"
The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute..."
The blond says, "Thanks!" and hangs up the phone.
What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? Her IQ goes up!
Did you hear about the blonde corn maze? It only had 1 stalk.
What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of a pool? Air Pockets What has 12 feet and an IQ of 40? A Blonde-tourage.
How many dumb blonde jokes are there? None they're all true stories.
What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common? They're both empty from the neck up.
A Blond walks into a doctors office and says: "Doctor, what’s the problem with me? When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts... When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!" The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."
A blond pushes her BMW into the gas station and tells the mechanic that it died.
After working on it for a few minutes, he has it idling smoothly.
"What's the story?" she asked.
"Just crap in the carburetor," the mechanic replied.
"How often do I have to do that?" asked the blond.
“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blond to her friend. There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
A blonde and a brunette were jumping off a building. Who jumped first? The brunette. The blonde had to ask for directions...
Why did the blond softball team always eat at Taco Bell before a game?
So they'd get more runs than the opponents.
Doctor: "You look exhausted."
Blond: "I am. When your nurse phoned me yesterday and told me that I have to come today for a blood test, I spent the whole night studying for it."
What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel.
What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty? A blonde parade.
How do you confuse a blond?
Tell them to count the stairs on a escalator.
A blond gets in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing.
She calls the police and reports a theft.
When the police officer comes, he looks at the blond who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."
Dustin and Jane (both blonds) were delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby had come to an end.
The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful Russian baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation.
On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses.
After they filled out the form, the registration clerk inquired, “What ever possessed you to study Russian?”
The couple said proudly, “We just adopted a Russian baby and in a year or so he’ll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him.”
A boss tells a blonde applicant, "I'll give you $8 an hour, starting today, and in three months, I'll raise it to $10 an hour. So, when would you like to start?"
"Could I start In three months?"
A redhead tells her blond stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian." The blond replies, "Oh my God. You slut. How many is a brazilian?"
Why did the blonde only tie one shoe? Because on the bottom it said "Taiwan" (Tie one)
How do you keep a blond busy for 2 days? Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides.
What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Gifted!
Why can't the blonde write the number eleven? She didn't know which "1" came first!
What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde? Perri-air.
A blond gets in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing.
She calls the police and reports a theft.
When the police officer comes, he looks at the blond who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."
What does a blonde do when her laptop computer freezes? She sticks it in the microwave!
Why do blondes wear their hair up? To catch everything that goes over their heads.
A blond meets up with a friend as she's picking up her car from the mechanic.
"Everything ok with your car now?"
"Yes, thank goodness," the blond replies.
"Weren't you worried the mechanic might try to rip you off?"
"Yeah, but he didn't. I was so relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid!"
A boss tells a blonde applicant, "I'll give you $8 an hour, starting today, and in three months, I'll raise it to $10 an hour.
So, when would you like to start?"
"In three months."
Why did the blond enter the tennis courts naked?
Because the sign said tennis shoes only.
Why was the blonde woman talking into an envelope? She was trying to send a voicemail!
On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor.
He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.
The blonde asked, “How am I supposed to know when I’m at 300 feet?”
“That’s a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you'll be able to recognize the faces of people on the ground.”
After pondering his answer, she asked, “What happens if there’s no one there I know?”
Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency? They can't remember the number.
Why shouldn't you even think about dating the blond outfielder who got hit in the head by a baseball?
Because she's a bad catch.
Why do blondes make bad bankrobbers? Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards
Two blondes are walking down the road when one says "Look at that dog with one eye!"
The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says "Where?"
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