"I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32," was the reply.
"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman said happily.
A little while later she went into McDonald's and asked the counter girl the very same question.
The girl said, "I guess about 29."
The woman replied, "Nope I'm 50."
Now she was feeling really good about herself. She stopped in a drug store on her way down the street. She went up to the counter to get some mints and asked the clerk this burning question.
The clerk responded, "Oh, I'd say 30."
Again she proudly responded, "I am 50, but thank you!"
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asked an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replied, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going...
"Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then, can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."
They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best of her.
She finally blurted out, "What the hell! Go ahead."
He slipped both of his hands under her bra and began to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounced and weighed each one of her bosoms. He gently pinched them as well. He pushed her assets together and rubbed them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she said, "Okay, okay...How old am I?"
He completed one last squeeze, removed his hands, and said, "Madam, you are 50."
Stunned and amazed, the woman said, "That was incredible! How could you tell??"
"I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
This Joke Starts With a Christian Lady On a Business Trip
A Christian business lady is asked why she always carries her Bible with her. She begins to respond...
Joke: To Heaven and Back
A woman suffers a heart attack and ends up in hospital. She has a near-death experience, but awakens. She decides to get some work done...
Joke: The Resemblance is Uncanny...
When a pastor is mistaken for a country singer while doing his rounds, he's quite taken aback, however he soon gets used to his new-found fame...
Joke: Two Women Hit It Off In Arizona
A wise woman gets a lift from a younger woman while walking out in the Arizona desert. It isn't long before they get talking...
Joke: Lights Go Out, Naughty Comes Out...
Four people are in a train compartment together when everything goes dark. An opportunistic poor man decides to capitalize on the opportunity...
This Joke Starts With a Woman Joining a Country Club
A woman joins a country-club and sets out to play with the guys at 6.30am. She immediately impresses them with her golfing prowess...
Hilarious: The Real Dogs Behind the "Beware Dog" Signs
Here are 12 hilarious “Beware of the Dog” signs and the cuties behind those signs.
Hilarious: Only in Dubai...
Dubai is a unique country, and offers some sights you'll probably never seen anywhere else in the world...
Safety Is the Last Thing on Their Minds – Funny Pics
Looking for some humor? Check out some hilarious pictures of safety fails.
These Signs Are Way Too Funny!
You know what time it is? It’s time for some hilariously funny sign!
These Grammar Jokes Are a Silly & Funny Play On Words!
If you're one to titter at a good grammar joke, then you'll absolutely love the 14 that you can find in this post.
Hilarious: These Hilarious Repairs Will Really Crack You Up!
Here are 14 hilarious repair fails that are bound to give you a good laugh!
Funny: Is This Mother Selling Her Baby On the Street??
What would you do if you saw a couple selling their baby on the street?
Hilarious: When Cakes Go Wrong!
These 20 hilarious cakes are just not what the customers were asking for!
Not the Greatest Boy Scout - Hilarious!
A silly but hilarious prank the whole family will enjoy.
These Photos Prove Dogs Are The FUNNIEST Pets In Existence
Whether they're caught trying to steal a snack or desperately resisting bath time, dogs never fail to put a smile on our faces. Check out these funny dog moments!
Funny Today: Caught in the Hood!
This cop pulls people over and asks them to lift their hood. When he slams it shut, he screams because little Johnson got caught under the hood and is stuck!
Simon's Cat Leaves His Owner Out in the Cold!
Watch this latest Christmas Special episode of Simon's Cat.
18 Funny Animal Pics That'll Give You Some Cheer!
Here is a collection of some adorably funny animals being silly and cute at the same time.
Ready to Laugh? The Best Senior Jokes in History!
No wonder they call the golden age the happiest time of your life....
Hilarious: If You Love English You'll Love These Puns!
We’ve collected 14 side-splitting jokes and puns that highlight common grammatical mistakes, contain clever twists on words, and more!
Hilarious: When Timing and Comedy Team Up!
Comedy is all about timing and these photos are the perfect example for it!
Hilarious: I Can't Believe People Can Really Carry This Much
These guys have taken overload to the next level. How on earth can they carry this much?
When Two Old Ladies Sit Down and Make Us Laugh!
Hilarious and classic sketch from the Mrs. Brown classic show.
With These Witty Lines Anyome Can be Star of the Party
some funny sayings with a something for everyone.
Hilarious: Mother Versus Father, Who Does it Better?
When it comes to parenting, who does it better, mothers or fathers?
The Wit and Humor of Groucho Marx – Funny Compilation
Sit back and enjoy this hilarious compilation of the funniest Groucho Marx insults and one-liners.
Classic Comedy: Mr. Bean At the Restaurant
Watch and see what happens as Mr. Bean gets a taste of a raw Steak Tartare, and decides he doesn’t really like it…
Bless My Neighbors... They're Completely Nuts!
Check out these 15 pictures of hilarious things that people have caught their neighbors doing! We challenge you not to laugh your head off!
Who Said God Isn't Funny? These Church Signs are Hilarious!
Although churches are houses of worship, that doesn't mean to say that they can't have a sense of humor! These amazing signs are evidence of that.
Hilarious: The Truth About Vincent Van Gogh's Family...
Like most people, I'm very familiar with Vincent van Gogh's incredibly artistry, but I never realized how large his extended family was until I saw this post.
This is What Happens When You Try and Fix it Yourself!
Have you ever tried fixing something yourself and failed miserably? Then you're going to love these photos...
When it Comes to Comedy, Twins Have an Unfair Advantage...
Just for Laughs is at it again, this time with the best twin pranks around.
These 14 Hilarious Vet Signs Are Gonna Crack You Up!
From unapologetic puns about neutering pets to side-splitting two-liners about the differences between cats and dogs, get ready to laugh your head off!
30 Hilarious Babies Who Look More Like Seniors!
Newborns are adorable... but these babies look a lot older than their actual age.
These Wine Jokes Are All in Good Taste...
I never knew there were so many funny things to say about wine...
Hilarious Fortune Cookie Messages to Make You Laugh
Fortune cookies can be quite sassy sometimes!
Rowan Atkinson Gives a Most Hilarious Sermon!
Rowan Atkinson, the famous comedian, gives a sermon the likes of which you've never heard...
Funny: Best of Paranormal Pranks!
Get prepared to meet vampires, monsters and scary things as you laugh out loud!
20 Hilarious Supermarket Mistakes You've Got to See!
I used to think shopping was boring, until I started noticing these hilarious mistakes all over the place. Here are 20 of the funniest fails I've seen.
Sweet Irony: Hilarious Photos of Ironic Situations!
Sometimes, the world just gives us some hilarious moments of perfect irony!
13 Hilarious Protest Signs That'll Make You Laugh!
Some people like to think that holding up signs will achieve something, but others go to protests for a laugh. Here are 13 funny examples.
These Silly Photos Remind Us of the Funny Side of Christmas!
Christmas is always full of good cheer, but it can also be downright hilarious as well. Here are 20 memes to remind you how hilarious Christmas Can Be.
Hilarious: 15 Witty Bar and Restaurant Signs
These bars and restaurants deserve a visit just for their funny signs.
Hilarious: When a Ventriloquist Gets Hypnotized...
Watch this ventriloquist as she does a creative and funny routine I've never seen another ventriloquist do anything like this before!