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sofifa highest potential Jokes

sofifa highest potential Jokes and more.
Color Puns
The artist successfully climbed the highest peak in the country. He attributed his success to the song, 'Paint No Mountain Higher!'
Chicken Puns
When the farmer died, all his chickens were sold to the highest bidder.
They would have preferred to stay on the farm, but auctions speak louder than birds.
The King, the Weather and the Donkey
Once upon a time, there was a king who wanted to go fishing. He called the royal weather forecaster and inquired about the weather forecast for the next few hours. The weatherman assured him that there was no chance of rain in the coming days. So the king went fishing with his wife, the queen. On the way he met a farmer on his donkey. Upon seeing the king the farmer said, "Your Majesty, you should return to the palace at once because in just a short time I expect a huge amount of rain to fall in this area". The king was polite and considerate, he replied: "I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an extensively educated and experienced professional, and I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him and I will continue on my way." So they did. However, a short time later a torrential rain fell from the sky. The King and Queen were totally soaked and their entourage chuckled upon seeing them in such a shameful condition. Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the weatherman at once! Then he summoned the farmer and offered him the prestigious and high paying role of royal forecaster. The farmer said, "Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey's ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain." So instead, the King hired the donkey on the spot. And thus began the ancient-old practice of hiring asses to work in the government and occupy its highest and most influential positions.
Real Estate Puns
I got worried about climate change when realtors in Iowa started advertising their listings as “potential waterfront property.”
A realtor is passing out information for a house as potential buyers are walking in at an open house. A guy says, “Hey, can I see one of those pamphlets?”
The realtor replies, “Brochure.”
He Has a Chip On His Shoulder
Joe grew up in Jamaica, then moved away to attend college and law school. He decided to come back to Jamaica because he felt he could be a Big Shot at home. He really wanted to impress everyone. So he returned and opened his new law office in New Kingston. The first day, he saw a man coming up the passageway. He decided to make a big impression on this potential client when he arrived. As the man came to the door Joe picked up the phone. He motioned the man in, all the while talking. "No. Absolutely not. You tell those clowns in New York that I won't settle this case for less than one million. Yes, the Appeals Court has agreed to hear that case next week. I'll be handling the primary argument and the other members of my team will provide support. Okay, tell the DA that I'll meet with him next week to discuss the details." The "conversation" went on for almost five minutes. All the while the man sat patiently as Joe rattled off instructions. Finally, Joe put down the phone and turned to the man, "I'm sorry for the delay but as you can see, I'm very busy. What can I do for you?" The man replied, "I'm from Cable & Wireless, the telephone company, I came to hook up your phone."
Corona Virus Jokes
As the local drunk, I'm quite worried about the corona virus.
It's got potential tequila lot of people.
Zombie Puns
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
Bat Puns
Which bat can hang the highest and longest?
The acro-bat.
Garden Quotes
"Bulb: potential flower buried in Autumn, never to be seen again."
- Henry Beard
Puns
Giraffe: The highest form of animal life.
Brain Puns
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
Engineering Puns
Where in the World Can You Find the Highest Concentration of Engineers?
Antarctica! Because that's where all the P. Enguins are!
Mountain Puns
I've always considered mountain plateaus to be the highest forms of flattery.
Nerdy Pick Up Lines
Come with me, let’s convert our potential energy into kinetic energy.
Wanna partner up so we can test the spring potential of my bed mattress?
A Cheap Hand
A man lost his hand in a war and goes to a shop to purchase a prosthetic hand. He enters the shop and explains his situation, the salesman directs him to their selection and picks up the first prosthetic hand. "This is one of our highest quality prosthetic hands, will feel as close to having the touch in your fingers as you were prior the incident. It costs $1,500". "No thank you, that is too expensive for me.", says the war vet, "Do you have anything cheaper?" The man nods his head and picks up the next prosthetic hand. "This one is almost as good as the other one, it has received multiple high reviews from our customers. It costs $900". Again the man argues, "No thank you, that is too expensive still, do you have anything else?". The salesman nods his head and picks up the last prosthetic arm on the rack. "This is our cheapest prosthetic arm, it costs $650, however we only have it in a green color". The vet again responds, "No thank you, that is still too expensive and I despise the color green." The salesman, out of options, tells the man, "Across the road there is an old man close to death selling his prosthetic hand, from the old man you can go and buy your third hand second hand first hand".
The Perfect Car for His Wife
A man walks into a car dealership. A salesman greets him at the door and after some chatting they end up taking a car for a test drive. “This car is so quiet sir” exclaims the salesman “the ride is calm and relaxing”. The man shakes his head “No, I’m buying this car for my wife and I certainly wouldn’t describe her as the ‘quiet and calm’ type”. The salesman quickly transfers his potential buyer to another car. “Then perhaps this would be more her style! This car is quick, sleek and agile”. The man sighs “no, my wife is certainly not the ‘sleek’ type by any means.” Frustrated, the salesman transfers the man to a third car, a sure winner. “Now sir, I happen to know this car is very popular. Nearly every man who has been here has taken it for a test drive-“ “Sold!”
Fog Puns
I mist say, this is a pretty bad joke, but it haze potential.
Sherlock Holmes Goes Camping
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decided to go on a camping trip. After dinner, they laid down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his best friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Watson pondered for a minute. "Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets." Also, looking at the stars, I think that the time is approximately a quarter past three in the morning." "Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant." "Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." "What does it tell YOU, Holmes?" Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot... Someone stole our tent!"
Wine Puns
What should you do with an old inventory of fine French wine?
Liquidate it to the highest bidder.
Music Pick Up Lines
I C Major potential in us getting together.
Father Puns
What did the father say to his falling son?
Son, you've got potential.
Medical Pick Up Lines
You must be a neuron, cause you’ve got some action potential.
Bob, Bob, Bob and Bob
A reporter hears of a woman in his town that has the highest welfare payments, and he was curious as to why. So he went to her house to interview her. He got to a little house and after she opens, introduces himself and asks her, "How old are you?" He asked. "27." she said. "And how many children do you have?" "Ten," she replied. "Wow, ok that explains a lot." He said, taken a back. "And what are their names?" he asked. "Well there's Bob, then there's Bob, and Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, and of course Bob." "They're ALL named Bob?" he asked, even more bewildered. "What if you want them to come in from playing outside?" "Oh, that's easy," she explained, "I just call 'Bob,' and they all come running inside." "And if you want them to come to the table for dinner?" "I just say, 'Bob, come eat your dinner,' and they do." She answered. "But what if you want just ONE of them to do something?" he asked. "Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just use their last name."
Phone Puns
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
Italy Puns
What Beatles song charted highest in Italy?
Penne Lane.
Putin and the Journalist
With the Russian Elections coming up, a reporter asks Russian President Vladimir Putin a question at a press conference. "With Hillary Clinton almost becoming president, and Kamala Harris being elected the Vice President in the United States, do you think that a Russian woman could ever rise up to the highest office of our great nation and become president?" President Putin responds immediately with a resounding "NO." without any hesitation, shocking all the reporters. "Why do you think that Mr. Putin?" the reporter asks, surprised and confused at the blunt dismissal. Vladimir calmly looks at the reporter and says "Because I am not a woman."
Spider Puns
What do you call Spider-Man at his full potential
Petest Parkest.
Physics Puns
Why do physics professors prefer overweight students?
They have greater potential.
My physics professor told me I had potential
Then he pushed me off the roof.
My Physics teacher said I have no potential.
Joke's on her, I just bought a ladder.
A physics teacher is about to jump off a high bridge
When a friend stops him saying, "Don't do it, you have so much potential."
My physics teacher told me i had so much potential, so much energy.
Then I fell down the stairs and lost it all.
The Young Ventriloquist
A young ventriloquist is touring Norway and puts on a show in a small fishing town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blond jokes. Suddenly, a blond woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blond jokes.What makes you think you can stereotype Norwegian blond women that way? What does the color of a woman's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's men like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as people. Its people like you that make others think that all blondes are dumb! You and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women in general, pathetically all in the name of humor!" The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, but the blonde interrupts yelling: "You stay out of this..I'm talking to that little a**hole on your lap!"
Funny Work Quotes
“If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry
Funny Aging Quotes
"Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years." - Oscar Wilde
Lightning Puns
Why shouldn't you smoke weed during a thunder storm?
Because lightning strikes the highest object.
Milk Puns
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.