Why did the monkey cross the road?
Because the chicken retired.
Why did the Communist wait till the last minute to cross the road?
He was Stalin.
Why did the fish cross the road?
To get to its school.
What did the buffalo say when his son crossed the road?
-Bison.
Why did the monster truck drive on the sidewalk?
Because he didn’t want to run over the chicken!
Why did Hans cross the road alone?
Hans wanted to travel solo.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
Why does the tin keep crossing the road?
Because it can.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn’t — the road moved back underneath him.
Why did my wife cross the road?
To go back to the same shoe shop we went to three hours ago.
Why did the horse dance while crossing the road?
He was horsing around.
Why did the doctor cross the road?
Hard to say really. Could be any number of reasons.
Why did the nose cross the road?
Because he was tired of getting picked on.
Why did the cow cross the road?
So he could go to the MOO-vies.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side!
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was playing Fetch with a boomerang.
Why did the alphabet cross the road?
To get from Point A to Point B.
How long did it take Lancelot to cross the road?
All knight.
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because it was a zebra crossing.
Why did the spy cross the road?
Because he was never on your side.
Why is everyone mad when the pig crosses the road?
Because he’s a road hog.
Why did the horse cross the road?
To get to the apple store.
Why did the bunny cross the road?
To go to the hare dresser.
Why didn’t the bicycle cross the road?
Because it was two tired!
Why did the elephant cross the road?
The chicken couldn’t be bothered anymore.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get out of the barking lot.
How did the sheep cross the road?
It ram across.
Why did the clock cross the road?
It couldn’t wait.
Why couldn't the mathematician cross the road?
Because he kept trying to half the distance.
Why did the cat cross the road?
Because her owner told her not to do it.
How many birds can cross the road?
Toucan.
Why did the toddler cross the road?
He wanted to pet the chicken.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
It was picking up the chicken’s feathers.
Why did the farmer cross the road?
To get his chicken back.
Why did the snail take so long to cross the road?
It was feeling sluggish.
Why did the dragon cross the road?
He was dragged on by his mum.
Why did the raccoon cross the road?
He saw you put out the garbage.
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was Thanksgiving Day, and it wanted people to think it was a chicken!
What kind of cat always crosses the road?
A jaguar.
Why did the sheep cross the road?
To get to the baa-baa shop for a haircut.
Why did the queen cross the road?
To get to coronation street.
Why did the potato run across the road?
So it wouldn’t get mashed.
Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Which bug always crosses the road?
A beetle.
Why didn’t the flamingo cross the road?
Because he’s not a chicken.
Why did the coyote cross the road?
It was chasing the road runner.
How do animals know when to cross the road?
The chameleon changes from red to green.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.