Why did the nose cross the road?
Because he was tired of getting picked on.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Why did the fish cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Which bug always crosses the road?
A beetle.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn’t — the road moved back underneath him.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
Why did the rabbit cross the road?
It had to get from hare to there.
Why did the clown cross the road?
To retrieve his rubber chicken.
Why couldn't the mathematician cross the road?
Because he kept trying to half the distance.
Why did the spy cross the road?
Because he was never on your side.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side!
How many birds can cross the road?
Toucan.
Why did the czar cross the road?
To get to his car.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
It was picking up the chicken’s feathers.
Why did the cat cross the road?
Because her owner told her not to do it.
Why did the alphabet cross the road?
To get from Point A to Point B.
Why did the queen cross the road?
To get to coronation street.
Why does the tin keep crossing the road?
Because it can.
How do animals know when to cross the road?
The chameleon changes from red to green.
Why did the bunny cross the road?
To go to the hare dresser.
Why did the monster truck drive on the sidewalk?
Because he didn’t want to run over the chicken!
Why did the doctor cross the road?
Hard to say really. Could be any number of reasons.
How long did it take Lancelot to cross the road?
All knight.
A Duck is about to cross the road. A chicken runs out to stop him screaming "Don't do it, man - you'll never hear the end of it!"
Why did the horse cross the road?
To get to the apple store.
Why did the raccoon cross the road?
He saw you put out the garbage.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was Thanksgiving Day, and it wanted people to think it was a chicken!
Why did the wolf take so long to cross the road?
It was pretending to be a snail.
Why is everyone mad when the pig crosses the road?
Because he’s a road hog.
Why didn’t the flamingo cross the road?
Because he’s not a chicken.
Why did the toddler cross the road?
He wanted to pet the chicken.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was playing Fetch with a boomerang.
Why did the farmer cross the road?
To get his chicken back.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
Why did the dog cross the road?
Because he was chasing the chicken.
What kind of cat always crosses the road?
A jaguar.
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get out of the barking lot.
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because it was a zebra crossing.
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