Why did the farmer cross the road?
To get his chicken back.
Which bug always crosses the road?
A beetle.
Why did my wife cross the road?
To go back to the same shoe shop we went to three hours ago.
How do animals know when to cross the road?
The chameleon changes from red to green.
Why didn’t the bicycle cross the road?
Because it was two tired!
A Duck is about to cross the road. A chicken runs out to stop him screaming "Don't do it, man - you'll never hear the end of it!"
Why did the engineer cross the road?
Because he looked in the files, and that’s what they did last time.
Why is everyone mad when the pig crosses the road?
Because he’s a road hog.
Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
What did the buffalo say when his son crossed the road?
-Bison.
Why did the horse dance while crossing the road?
He was horsing around.
Why did the goldfish cross the road?
Because the chicken was on holiday.
Why did the reindeer cross the road?
Because he was tied to a chicken!
Why did the horse cross the road?
To get to the apple store.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was Thanksgiving Day, and it wanted people to think it was a chicken!
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He had something to cock-a-doodle dooo!
Why did the raccoon cross the road?
He saw you put out the garbage.
Why did the Communist wait till the last minute to cross the road?
He was Stalin.
Why did the sheep cross the road?
To get to the baa-baa shop for a haircut.
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because it was a zebra crossing.
Why did the rabbit cross the road?
It had to get from hare to there.
Why couldn't the mathematician cross the road?
Because he kept trying to half the distance.
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did the fox cross the road?
She was chasing the chicken.
Why did the cow cross the road?
So he could go to the MOO-vies.
Why did the fish cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
How long did it take Lancelot to cross the road?
All knight.
Why did the bunny cross the road?
To go to the hare dresser.
What kind of cat always crosses the road?
A jaguar.
Why did the czar cross the road?
To get to his car.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side!
Why did Hans cross the road alone?
Hans wanted to travel solo.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get out of the barking lot.
Why did the dragon cross the road?
He was dragged on by his mum.
Why did the clown cross the road?
To retrieve his rubber chicken.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
It was picking up the chicken’s feathers.
Why did the nose cross the road?
Because he was tired of getting picked on.
How did the sushi cross the road?
It was rolling.
Why did the elephant cross the road?
The chicken couldn’t be bothered anymore.
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