Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did the bunny cross the road?
To go to the hare dresser.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
It was picking up the chicken’s feathers.
Why did the elephant cross the road?
The chicken couldn’t be bothered anymore.
Why did the cat cross the road?
Because her owner told her not to do it.
How many birds can cross the road?
Toucan.
Why did the czar cross the road?
To get to his car.
Why did my wife cross the road?
To go back to the same shoe shop we went to three hours ago.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because it thought it was a chicken.
Why did the farmer cross the road?
To get his chicken back.
Why did the corn cross the road?
Because it was being stalked.
Why did the monster truck drive on the sidewalk?
Because he didn’t want to run over the chicken!
Why did the alphabet cross the road?
To get from Point A to Point B.
Why did the clown cross the road?
To retrieve his rubber chicken.
Which bug always crosses the road?
A beetle.
Why did the Communist wait till the last minute to cross the road?
He was Stalin.
Why did the cow cross the road?
So he could go to the MOO-vies.
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
Why does the tin keep crossing the road?
Because it can.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
Why did the horse dance while crossing the road?
He was horsing around.
How long did it take Lancelot to cross the road?
All knight.
Why did the toddler cross the road?
He wanted to pet the chicken.
Why did the fish cross the road?
To get to its school.
Why did the queen cross the road?
To get to coronation street.
Why did the spy cross the road?
Because he was never on your side.
Why did the potato run across the road?
So it wouldn’t get mashed.
Why did the sheep cross the road?
To get to the baa-baa shop for a haircut.
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because it was a zebra crossing.
Why did the reindeer cross the road?
Because he was tied to a chicken!
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn’t — the road moved back underneath him.
Why did the fox cross the road?
She was chasing the chicken.
Why did the dragon cross the road?
He was dragged on by his mum.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
What did the buffalo say when his son crossed the road?
-Bison.
Why did the engineer cross the road?
Because he looked in the files, and that’s what they did last time.
Why did the snail take so long to cross the road?
It was feeling sluggish.
How did the sushi cross the road?
It was rolling.
Why did the clock cross the road?
It couldn’t wait.
How did the sheep cross the road?
It ram across.
Why did the raccoon cross the road?
He saw you put out the garbage.
Why did the coyote cross the road?
It was chasing the road runner.
Why did the goldfish cross the road?
Because the chicken was on holiday.
What kind of cat always crosses the road?
A jaguar.
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get out of the barking lot.
How do animals know when to cross the road?
The chameleon changes from red to green.
A Duck is about to cross the road. A chicken runs out to stop him screaming "Don't do it, man - you'll never hear the end of it!"
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side!
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