Why did the spy cross the road?
Because he was never on your side.
Why did my wife cross the road?
To go back to the same shoe shop we went to three hours ago.
Why did the coyote cross the road?
It was chasing the road runner.
Why did the fish cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because it was a zebra crossing.
Why did the horse cross the road?
To get to the apple store.
Why did the reindeer cross the road?
Because he was tied to a chicken!
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
Why did the cow cross the road?
So he could go to the MOO-vies.
Why did the Communist wait till the last minute to cross the road?
He was Stalin.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn’t — the road moved back underneath him.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn’t exist yet.
Why did the corn cross the road?
Because it was being stalked.
Why does the tin keep crossing the road?
Because it can.
Why did the wolf take so long to cross the road?
It was pretending to be a snail.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was Thanksgiving Day, and it wanted people to think it was a chicken!
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He had something to cock-a-doodle dooo!
Why did the monkey cross the road?
Because the chicken retired.
Why did the raccoon cross the road?
He saw you put out the garbage.
Why did the monster truck drive on the sidewalk?
Because he didn’t want to run over the chicken!
How many birds can cross the road?
Toucan.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
It was picking up the chicken’s feathers.
Why did the sheep cross the road?
To get to the baa-baa shop for a haircut.
Why did the clown cross the road?
To retrieve his rubber chicken.
Why couldn't the mathematician cross the road?
Because he kept trying to half the distance.
Why did the alphabet cross the road?
To get from Point A to Point B.
Why didn’t the flamingo cross the road?
Because he’s not a chicken.
Why did the toddler cross the road?
He wanted to pet the chicken.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Why did the czar cross the road?
To get to his car.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did the dragon cross the road?
He was dragged on by his mum.
A Duck is about to cross the road. A chicken runs out to stop him screaming "Don't do it, man - you'll never hear the end of it!"
Why did the bunny cross the road?
To go to the hare dresser.
Why did the nose cross the road?
Because he was tired of getting picked on.
Why is everyone mad when the pig crosses the road?
Because he’s a road hog.
Why did the lion cross the road?
He was bored of lion around.
Why did the farmer cross the road?
To get his chicken back.
Why didn’t the bicycle cross the road?
Because it was two tired!
Why did the potato run across the road?
So it wouldn’t get mashed.
What did the buffalo say when his son crossed the road?
-Bison.
Why did the cat cross the road?
Because her owner told her not to do it.
How did the sushi cross the road?
It was rolling.
How do animals know when to cross the road?
The chameleon changes from red to green.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
Which bug always crosses the road?
A beetle.
Why did the rabbit cross the road?
It had to get from hare to there.
Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
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