Why did the lion cross the road?
He was bored of lion around.
Why did the horse dance while crossing the road?
He was horsing around.
Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
Why did my wife cross the road?
To go back to the same shoe shop we went to three hours ago.
Why did the snail take so long to cross the road?
It was feeling sluggish.
How many birds can cross the road?
Toucan.
Why did the sheep cross the road?
To get to the baa-baa shop for a haircut.
Why did the alphabet cross the road?
To get from Point A to Point B.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
Why did the fish cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why did the goldfish cross the road?
Because the chicken was on holiday.
Why did the dog cross the road?
Because he was chasing the chicken.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get out of the barking lot.
Why did the monster truck drive on the sidewalk?
Because he didn’t want to run over the chicken!
Why did the horse cross the road?
To get to the apple store.
Why did the reindeer cross the road?
Because he was tied to a chicken!
Why couldn't the mathematician cross the road?
Because he kept trying to half the distance.
Why did the elephant cross the road?
The chicken couldn’t be bothered anymore.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
It was picking up the chicken’s feathers.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn’t — the road moved back underneath him.
Why did the cat cross the road?
Because her owner told her not to do it.
Why did the fish cross the road?
To get to its school.
Why did the nose cross the road?
Because he was tired of getting picked on.
Why did the clown cross the road?
To retrieve his rubber chicken.
Why did the fox cross the road?
She was chasing the chicken.
Why is everyone mad when the pig crosses the road?
Because he’s a road hog.
Which bug always crosses the road?
A beetle.
Why didn’t the bicycle cross the road?
Because it was two tired!
Why did the Communist wait till the last minute to cross the road?
He was Stalin.
Why did the corn cross the road?
Because it was being stalked.
How did the sushi cross the road?
It was rolling.
Why did the monkey cross the road?
Because the chicken retired.
How long did it take Lancelot to cross the road?
All knight.
Why does the tin keep crossing the road?
Because it can.
Why did the bunny cross the road?
To go to the hare dresser.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side!
Why did the dragon cross the road?
He was dragged on by his mum.
Why did the spy cross the road?
Because he was never on your side.
What did the buffalo say when his son crossed the road?
-Bison.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was playing Fetch with a boomerang.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was Thanksgiving Day, and it wanted people to think it was a chicken!
How did the sheep cross the road?
It ram across.
Why did the queen cross the road?
To get to coronation street.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because it thought it was a chicken.
Why did the coyote cross the road?
It was chasing the road runner.
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because it was a zebra crossing.
Why did the doctor cross the road?
Hard to say really. Could be any number of reasons.
How do animals know when to cross the road?
The chameleon changes from red to green.
Why did the toddler cross the road?
He wanted to pet the chicken.
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