Why did the Communist wait till the last minute to cross the road?
He was Stalin.
Why did the dog cross the road?
Because he was chasing the chicken.
Why did the corn cross the road?
Because it was being stalked.
Why did the lion cross the road?
He was bored of lion around.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
It was picking up the chicken’s feathers.
Why did the potato run across the road?
So it wouldn’t get mashed.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
Why didn’t the flamingo cross the road?
Because he’s not a chicken.
A Duck is about to cross the road. A chicken runs out to stop him screaming "Don't do it, man - you'll never hear the end of it!"
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was playing Fetch with a boomerang.
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did the fish cross the road?
To get to its school.
How did the sushi cross the road?
It was rolling.
Why did the raccoon cross the road?
He saw you put out the garbage.
How did the sheep cross the road?
It ram across.
Why did the bunny cross the road?
To go to the hare dresser.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn’t exist yet.
Why did the goldfish cross the road?
Because the chicken was on holiday.
Why didn’t the bicycle cross the road?
Because it was two tired!
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side!
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did the dragon cross the road?
He was dragged on by his mum.
Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
Why did the wolf take so long to cross the road?
It was pretending to be a snail.
How do animals know when to cross the road?
The chameleon changes from red to green.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because it thought it was a chicken.
Why did the farmer cross the road?
To get his chicken back.
Why did the fish cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why did the toddler cross the road?
He wanted to pet the chicken.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn’t — the road moved back underneath him.
Which bug always crosses the road?
A beetle.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He had something to cock-a-doodle dooo!
Why did the monkey cross the road?
Because the chicken retired.
Why did the reindeer cross the road?
Because he was tied to a chicken!
Why did my wife cross the road?
To go back to the same shoe shop we went to three hours ago.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
Why did the queen cross the road?
To get to coronation street.
Why did the elephant cross the road?
The chicken couldn’t be bothered anymore.
What kind of cat always crosses the road?
A jaguar.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was Thanksgiving Day, and it wanted people to think it was a chicken!
Why did the monster truck drive on the sidewalk?
Because he didn’t want to run over the chicken!
Why did the rabbit cross the road?
It had to get from hare to there.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get out of the barking lot.
Why did the fox cross the road?
She was chasing the chicken.
Why did the nose cross the road?
Because he was tired of getting picked on.
Why did the clock cross the road?
It couldn’t wait.
Why is everyone mad when the pig crosses the road?
Because he’s a road hog.
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Why did the sheep cross the road?
To get to the baa-baa shop for a haircut.
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