Cover

What Reincarnation is All About
What Reincarnation is All About A soldier is reading a book while off duty when he sees his sergeant coming. Everyone hated sergeant Thompson, he always had a big stick up his bum. "Private." "Sergeant Thompson, Sir!" the soldier said, standing up smartly. "At ease." The soldier gladly returned to his book... until he realized the sergeant is still standing over him, staring at the cover. "Yes, Sarge?" "What's that rubbish you're reading there, private? Re..incar..nation? What's that all about?" "Well," smiles the soldier, "It's pretty simple sir. Say you died, God forbid, and we buried you. Then a few months later grass grew on that plot of land. Then a cow came and ate that grass. As nature dictates, a few hours later it passes it through its stomachs and dumps it out on the ground... Then I would walk by and say: "Hey Sarge, you haven't changed a bit!""
Me and my friends are in a band called “Duvet”.
We’re a cover band.
Why can you never use a serve receive pattern against a sniper? They’d all start running for cover.
Your brain's so minute that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldn't be enough to cover a small water biscuit.

(From tv show Blackadder)
I was really embarrassed when my wife caught me playing with my son's train set by myself. In a moment of panic, I threw a bedsheet over it. I think I managed to cover my tracks.
What does a doctor use to cover his mistakes?
Dirt.
If you were in bed with me, I wouldn't need the cover to keep warm.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
Why do ducks have tail feathers?
To cover their buttquacks.
Which rangy centre could cover the whole ice? Jean Umbrelliveau.
Vogue just called; they want to put you on the cover.
At an art gallery, a woman and her ten-year-old son were having a tough time choosing between one of my paintings and another artist's work.
They finally went with mine.
"I guess you decided you prefer an autumn scene to a floral," I said.
"No," said the boy. "Your painting's wider, so it'll cover more holes in our wall."
My girlfriend said to me, "I'm sick of you pretending to be a detective. I think we should split up."
I said, "Good idea - we can cover more ground that way."
A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.

Winston Churchill