Smart

A system administrator has 2 problems:
1. Dumb users
2. Smart users
Wikipedia: I know everything!
Google: I have everything!
Facebook: I know everybody!
Internet: Without me you are nothing!

Electricity: Keep talking smart guys...
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
A Quick Thinker
A Quick Thinker A grocery store employee is working in the produce department when a customer approaches and asks to buy half a head of lettuce. "You can't buy just half a head, we sell them whole." says the employee. The customer responds "Go get your manager, and I'll ask him." So the employee goes to his manager and says "Some a$*hole out there wants to buy just one half of a lettuce head..." when he realizes the customer is right behind him. However, he immediately turns and without missing a beat, he gestures: "and this fine gentleman would like to buy the other half!" After the customer leaves, the manager says "That was pretty quick thinking, tell me about yourself. Where are you from?" The kid says "I'm from Brazil." "So why didn't you stay there? Isn't it a beautiful country?" "Yea, but the place is full of either soccer players or sluts." Said he kid. "My wife is from Brazil!" growls the manager in sudden anger. "Really?" Asks the kid without losing a beat, "What team does she play for?"
I use to support higher spending on education. But then I learned a harsh truth. No matter how smart we we make children,
50% of them will still be below average.
There once was a young boy named Nick,
Who by chance was always being kicked.
He tried not to fight,
For he was smart, kind and bright,
So he learned how to run really quick.
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
Stop trying to be a smart ass, you're just an ass.