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Shopping Jokes

Dark Short Jokes
When I was a little kid, I thought "This little piggy went to market." meant it went shopping.
It does not.
Tiger Puns
What is one of the big tiger's most favorite hangout places? A shopping maul.
Dirty Shopping Pick Up Lines
Are you a shopping cart?
Because I wanna drop my meat in you.
Girl, I wanna take you doorbell shopping.
So I can show you a special dingdong.
Let's go shopping. Clothes are 100% off at my house.
Mall Pick Up Lines
Want to go shopping? Today only there's a special deal: 30% off on my heart!
Funny Animal Poems That Rhyme
When my cat sleeps, he snoozes
Inside the laundry basket,
Or on top of a tree,
Crammed inside a shelf,
Where no-one can see.
In empty shopping bags,
And cartons made of cardboard,
On piles of books and newspapers,
And suitcases that are stored.
Curled up under furniture,
In places we’d never think to look.
Or nestled behind a flower pot,
In a hard to find nook.
Since my cat sleeps for at least sixteen hours each day
He must be bored of sleeping in the same old way!

(Santhini Govindan)
Halloween Puns
Saw Humpty Dumpty shopping for Halloween supplies.
He's going to have a great fall.
Elf Puns
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
The Wife, the Husband and the Genie
The Wife, the Husband and the Genie A husband and wife in their sixties were coming up on their 40th wedding anniversary. Knowing his wife loved antiques, he bought a beautiful old brass oil lamp for her. When she unwrapped it, a genie appeared. He thanked them and gave each of them one wish. The wife wished for an all expenses paid, first class, around the world cruise with her husband. Shazam! Instantly she was presented with tickets for the entire journey, plus expensive side trips, dinners, shopping, etc. The husband, however, wished he had a female companion who was 30 years younger. The genie smiled and... Shazam! Instantly he turned 93 years old.
Saxophone Puns
Shopping at the music store, my friend had to settle for a fiver saxophone ...
They couldn't afford a tenor.
Funny Money Quotes
"Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to go shopping." ~ Bo Derek
Crow Puns
Crows go to get their shopping at Cawst Co.
Grocery Store Pick Up Lines
Reading a shopping list, eh? I see we're both fans of the classics.
A pretty lady wasn't on my shopping list but I can be spontaneous.
Werewolf Puns
Where do werewolves hate shopping?
The flea market.
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