Scientist Jokes

What do you can an ant scientist?
Albert Antstein.
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
"HeHe."
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
Why was the koala scientist so well-respected by his peers? He was known for conducting excellent koalatative research.
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
The scientist was meticulous about his strawberry pies. He rounded up the protein content of his pie at 3.14.
Scientist are shocked after discovery of a new african bee species that can keep on flying even after their heart stops.
Local tribes in fear of a zombee apocalypse
Why did the scientist use a drink container to communicate with dolphins?
Because a bottle knows dolphin.
Did you hear about the scientist that studied nectarines? He won the Nobel Peach Prize.
Why did the scientist go to the tanning salon? Because he was a paleontologist.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
What NASA Can't Do It was a celebratory mood with the boys at NASA; they had just made the scientific achievement of a lifetime. As they were uncorking a bottle of champagne, Dr. Lowenstein, the head scientist at NASA, asked everyone to be quiet as he had received a congratulatory phone call from the President of the United States. He picked up a special red phone, and spoke into it. "Mr. President," said Dr. Lowenstein, grinning broadly, "after twelve years of hard research and billions of dollars spent, we have finally found intelligent life on Mars." He listened for a second, and his smile gradually disappeared, replaced by a frown. He said, "But that’s impossible... we could never do it. Yes Mr. President,” and hung up the phone. He addressed the crowd of scientists staring at him curiously. "I have some bad news," he said, "the President said that now that we’ve found intelligent life on Mars... he wants us to try to find it in Congress."
My scientist wife decided to test the hypothesis that more intercourse would improve our marriage. It's already been a week, and I've concluded...
that I'm in the control group.
Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins?
He baptized one and kept the other as control.
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