What is it called when a cowboy dies and comes back to life?
What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
What's a pun's favorite movie?
It's a Punderful Life!
What NASA Can't Do
What NASA Can't Do It was a celebratory mood with the boys at NASA; they had just made the scientific achievement of a lifetime. As they were uncorking a bottle of champagne, Dr. Lowenstein, the head scientist at NASA, asked everyone to be quiet as he had received a congratulatory phone call from the President of the United States. He picked up a special red phone, and spoke into it. "Mr. President," said Dr. Lowenstein, grinning broadly, "after twelve years of hard research and billions of dollars spent, we have finally found intelligent life on Mars." He listened for a second, and his smile gradually disappeared, replaced by a frown. He said, "But that’s impossible... we could never do it. Yes Mr. President,” and hung up the phone. He addressed the crowd of scientists staring at him curiously. "I have some bad news," he said, "the President said that now that we’ve found intelligent life on Mars... he wants us to try to find it in Congress."
Why was the geologist always depressed?
He had a hard rock life.
"I need to re-wine my life."
How should you live your life? By seasoning the moment.
What is it called when a cowboy dies and comes back to life?
A rise in mercury sometimes mars the life on earth. How else would you think nature planet?
Calling the Doctor
Calling the Doctor A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor’s office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?" "Yes, I’m afraid so," the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied: "I’m wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked ‘NO REFILLS."
My friend wanted me to take care of his extremely fragile pumpkin.
I told him I'd gourd it with my life.
If you speak Hebrew and life gives you lemons...
You're an acidic Jew.
How did the cardiologist figure out what she wanted to do with her life?
She just followed her heart.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
What’s the one thing in life you can always count on? A calculator.