Potatoes

Blonde, Brunette & Redhead Escape From Prison
Blonde, Brunette & Redhead Escape From Prison One night there were three female fugitives escaping from jail. One was blonde, one was brunette and the other was a redhead. They had the police hot on their trail and, quickly thinking the brunette points out an old, abandoned factory perfect for hiding in. When all three were inside the redhead, quickly thinking said they should all hide in old potato sacks in the corner as they could hear the police approaching the factory. They all got in their little potato sacks and barely a minute later the police came crashing through the door. They looked at the sacks and said: 'Hmm maybe they are hiding in these.' The officer kicks the red-head's sack and she makes whimpering noises. 'Hmm just puppies in that sack' The officer kicks the brunette's sack and she makes mewing noises. 'Hmm just kittens in that sack' He says. He finally kicks the blonde's sack and she screams: 'POTATOES! POTATOES!'
The Blond Bank Robber and the Three Stalls
The Blond Bank Robber and the Three Stalls Three bank robbers: a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde. Are trying to evade the police when they come across a farm. Being short on time and options, they all decide to hide in the barn. The redhead hides near the horses, the brunette hides near the cows and the blonde hides in a pile of potatoes. When the police come to search the barn, first they come to the horse stables. The redhead lets out a hefty "neeeyyyy", the cops are convinced that the horses are indeed alone, and the redhead escapes. The police then search the cow pens. The brunette saw what the first robber had done, and belts out a deep "mooooo". The cops are again convinced and the brunette is able to escape. The police finally turn to the stall where the Blond has hidden. The blond, seeing how easily the other two had gotten away, decides to use the same method. So as the police officers came close they suddenly hear: "Potato!"
What do jazzy people put on their potatoes at Thanksgiving?

Groovy.
What do potatoes become when they smoke weed?
Baked potatoes.
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
People order potatoes a lot because they look a-peeling on the menu.
Why don't potatoes go to parties?
They're scared of the Monster Mash.
Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
Young Micharlangelo Matos
Has relations with unripe tomatoes.
Grinning, he flirts
"Sure the insertion hurts
But they're cleaner than uncooked potatoes."
Why is pumpkin pie so much better than sweet potato pie?
Sweet potatoes are ungourdly.
The Way it Used to Be
The Way it Used to Be A boy returns home from running an errand for his quarantined grandfather. He says, "Grandpa, I got all the groceries you wanted! All together, it came to $47.22. Here's your change." Grandpa says, "My goodness, the world is expensive nowadays. When I was a boy your age, I could get five pounds of potatoes, three loaves of bread, two pounds of beef, a jug of milk, a tin of tobacco for my dad, and a handful of my favorite candies, all for about five cents. "Can't do that today, though. No siree Bob!" "Why is that, grandpa?" asks the boy. "Too many bloody cameras."
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.