A woman gets into an accident while driving. She tries to explain to the officer that it wasnโt her fault. She says the other guy was drinking and on his phone! The officer looks at the lady and says, "Mam, he could do that in his own backyard.โ
"A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do." โ P. J. OโRourke
โThe key to my heart looks a whole lot like a plate of pasta.โ โ Unknown
"I don't eat lobsters, shrimp, or crawfish because I don't eat anything that looks like I should step on it." โ George Carlin
A drunk staggers out of a bar and runs into two priests. He goes over to the first priest and says: โHey, Iโm Jesus Christ!โ
The priest says: โNo son, youโre not.โ
So the drunk goes over to the second priest and says: โMan, Iโm Jesus Christ!โ
The priest says: โNo son, I'm afraid youโre not.โ
Finally, the drunk gets fed up and says: โHere, Iโll prove it.โ
He saunters back into the bar with both priests. As he comes in, the bartender looks up, sees the drunk and groans: โOh Jesus Christ, YOU'RE back again?!โ
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A drunk staggers out of a bar and runs into two priests. He goes over to the first priest and says: โHey, Iโm Jesus Christ!โ
The priest says: โNo son, youโre not.โ
So the drunk goes over to the second priest and says: โMan, Iโm Jesus Christ!โ
The priest says: โNo son, I'm afraid youโre not.โ
Finally, the drunk gets fed up and says: โHere, Iโll prove it.โ
He saunters back into the bar with both priests. As he comes in, the bartender looks up, sees the drunk and groans: โOh Jesus Christ, YOU'RE back again?!โ
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