Looks Jokes

A woman gets into an accident while driving. She tries to explain to the officer that it wasn’t her fault. She says the other guy was drinking and on his phone! The officer looks at the lady and says, "Mam, he could do that in his own backyard.”
"She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon."
Are you from history? Because your body looks royal.
That Marchesa dress looks great on you...as a matter of fact, so would I.
"A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do."
– P. J. O’Rourke
“The key to my heart looks a whole lot like a plate of pasta.”
― Unknown
"I don't eat lobsters, shrimp, or crawfish because I don't eat anything that looks like I should step on it."
— George Carlin
So my brother is grating cheese for a dip. He looks up and says,
"I'm the gratest."
The only thing that looks like half a strawberry is the other half.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster give up boxing?
Because he didn’t want to spoil his looks.
The Holy Drunk A drunk staggers out of a bar and runs into two priests. He goes over to the first priest and says: “Hey, I’m Jesus Christ!” The priest says: “No son, you’re not.” So the drunk goes over to the second priest and says: “Man, I’m Jesus Christ!” The priest says: “No son, I'm afraid you’re not.” Finally, the drunk gets fed up and says: “Here, I’ll prove it.” He saunters back into the bar with both priests. As he comes in, the bartender looks up, sees the drunk and groans: “Oh Jesus Christ, YOU'RE back again?!”
Did you know this mall has a movie theater? I just saw a preview of our life together. Looks pretty good!
Whenever the peach gets angry, it looks at my face and screams: “You are just a peach of sh*t!”
My peach friend shaved for the first time the other day, he looks like a nectarine!
What do you call a cloud that looks like a mermaid?
Your hand looks heavy—can I hold it for you?
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