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Laid

Cowboy Jokes
A cowboy is walking down main street in nothing but his boots and hat...
Shortly after he got into town, a sheriff stops him.

"Sir, why in the hell are you walkin down the street naked as a jaybird?"

"I can explain! See I met this girl named Sally. Well, I took her back to my place and she took her shirt off... So I took off mine. Then she took her pants off... And I took off mine. She whipped off her britches... And I slipped outta mine.

"After that she laid down and hollered, 'Go to town cowboy!'

"So here I am."
Anti Jokes
If you took all the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.
Dirty Limericks
There once was a lady from Decatur
Who got laid by a large alligator.
But nobody knew
The result of that screw
Because after he laid her, he ate her.
One Liners and Short Jokes
If you took all the people in the world who fall asleep during church, and laid them head to toe in a straight line
They would all be a lot more comfortable.
Dark Short Jokes
Guy walks into a bar. Sees a hot girl.
He walks up to her and says "You're getting laid tonight.”
She replies “What are you, some sort of psychic?”
He says “No... I’m just stronger than you."
Water Puns
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
Insults & Comebacks
Hey Steve, do you shower after sex?
Well yes Bob, I do.
Great, can you please get laid more often?
The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.
Dirty Short Jokes
Why did god invent alcohol? So fat women can get laid too.
What's the difference between you and eggs? Eggs get laid and you don't
Rabbit Puns
The Easter Bunny won’t be making his usual rounds this year. He’s laid up with a hareline fracture.
Funny Limericks
An elderly man called Keith,
Mislaid his set of false teeth.
They'd been laid on a chair,
He'd forgot they were there,
Sat down, and was bitten beneath.
Funny Poems
An elderly man called Keith.
Mislaid his set of false teeth.
They'd been laid on a chair.
He'd forgot they were there.
Sat down, and was bitten beneath.
Whale Puns
Did you know that the blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court …
The game would be cancelled.
Yo Mama So Fat
Yo mama so fat she laid on the beach and Greenpeace tried to push her back in the water.
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