Where’s the best beach to buy sports gear at?
Jersey Shore.
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
Rodney Dangerfield
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
I was just looking at my ceiling. I am not sure if it’s the best ceiling in the world, but it’s definitely up there.
Which side of a deer has the best meat?
The inside.
Who has the best place on a sailing ship?
The mast, because it has the pole-position.
I’d like to buy a catamaran or a yacht.
I’d like to get the best of boat words.
The best years of my life were spent in the arms of another man’s wife
Happy Mother’s Day!
Electric razors are the best thing since sliced beard.
What’s the best tool to install an electrical plug with?
A socket wrench.
The Best Bar in the World
The Best Bar in the World Three guys are drinking at a bar and talking about their favorite bars. The first guy says, 'As good as this bar is, I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there's a wee place. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink.' 'Well,' said the second man, "At my local in London , the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two.' "Ahhh, dat's nothin'," said the third guy, 'Back home in my favorite pub, the moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like, actually. Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see that you gets laid, all on the house!' The first two guys lift their eyebrows in suspicion. 'Yea right,' says the first guy, 'there is no bar that good.' The man swore every word was true. Then the second man asked, 'Come ON, be real. Did this actually happen to you?' 'Well. Not to me, personally, no.' admitted the man, "But it did happen to my sister quite a few times."
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
Who is the best kung fu vegetable?
Brocc lee.
Some marine biologists argued about how best to handle angry dolphins.
The were working at cross porpoises.