You say "easy peasy lemon squeezy"
... but I prefer "depressed stressed lemon zest."
They told me I was too old to hunt for Easter eggs, but the jokes on them!
I prefer mine poached.
What kind of magazines would the planets prefer to read? Cosmos.
What kind of music would planets prefer to hear? NepTUNEs.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
My doctor told me that I needed I kidney
I told her no. I'd prefer an adult-knee.
Why don’t Alpacas like singing with background music?
They prefer to sing alpacapella.
To get with the times, Grammar Nazi's have changed their name.
They now prefer to go by Alt-writists.
What sort of birthday cake do ghosts prefer?
I Scream Cake.
What do aliens prefer to drink?
My wife asked why I prefer gummy bears to gummy worms.
I said that gummy worms are beneath me.
Why do men prefer blondes? Because they like intellectual companionship.
At an art gallery, a woman and her ten-year-old son were having a tough time choosing between one of my paintings and another artist's work.
They finally went with mine.
"I guess you decided you prefer an autumn scene to a floral," I said.
"No," said the boy. "Your painting's wider, so it'll cover more holes in our wall."
Why doesn’t an owl study for a test?
They prefer to wing it.
Some people like beer goggles. I prefer wine glasses.