Frozen Jokes

You: It's dangerous for you to be here in the frozen food section. Because you could melt all this stuff.
Okay, here’s the deal: I’ll let you take the last stuffed crust frozen pizza if you let me take you to dinner. At your house. Where we’ll be having frozen pizza.
It says right here that this frozen pizza is enough for two.
Why did the strangers walk out onto the frozen pond?
Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? Because it said 'concentrate'.
That kiss is as comfortless as frozen water to a starved snake.
Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.
Now I have some frozen assets.
I heard Frozen University is banning anyone who got the COVID vaccine from returning for the spring quarter
I guess if you get vaccinated you won’t be headed to the ICU.
Why Go to the Bar at All? This is a story about a newlywed couple who had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies . So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back." "Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife. "I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer." The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries: Germany , Holland , Japan , India - they had it all. The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, lolly pop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses..." He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it. The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the Bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long, I promise. OK?" You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" She opened the oven and took out five dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc. The husband tries once again. "But my sweet honey... At the bar... You know...there's swearing, dirty words and all that..." "You want dirty words, sweetie pie? Smiled the wife. "Then drink your bloody beer in your darn frozen mug and eat your stupid snacks, because you are married now, and you aren't going anywhere! Got it, moron?"
The Ultimate Cure A pharmacist comes back from his lunch to the pharmacy. As he approaches, he sees a man outside the pharmacy clutching onto a pole for dear life, barely breathing, not moving, not twitching a muscle, just standing there, frozen. The pharmacist goes up to his assistant and asks: "What's the matter with that guy? Wasn't he in here earlier?" "Yes he was." Replies the assistant. "He had the most terrible cough and none of my prescriptions seemed to help." "Well, he seems to be fine now." "Sure he does. I gave him a box of laxatives. Now he won't dare cough!"
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
What do you call a frozen frankfurter? A Chili dog.
Your beauty warms and lights up these frozen surroundings.
"You know, it's dangerous for you to be here in the frozen foods section—because you could melt all this stuff."
- Steve Martin, My Blue Heaven (1990)
You must be a frozen pond, because I can see myself skating all over you.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre?
A: They apparently went to see "Closed For The Winter"
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