Why didn't Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? Because a cold never bothered her anyway.
The Ultimate Cure
A pharmacist comes back from his lunch to the pharmacy.
As he approaches, he sees a man outside the pharmacy clutching onto a pole for dear life, barely breathing, not moving, not twitching a muscle, just standing there, frozen.
The pharmacist goes up to his assistant and asks: "What's the matter with that guy? Wasn't he in here earlier?"
"Yes he was." Replies the assistant. "He had the most terrible cough and none of my prescriptions seemed to help."
"Well, he seems to be fine now."
"Sure he does. I gave him a box of laxatives. Now he won't dare cough!"
“I cannot go to school today," Said little Peggy Ann McKay. “I have the measles and the mumps, A gash, a rash and purple bumps. My mouth is wet, my throat is dry, I’m going blind in my right eye. My tonsils are as big as rocks, I’ve counted sixteen chicken pox And there’s one more--that’s seventeen, And don’t you think my face looks green? My leg is cut--my eyes are blue-- It might be instamatic flu. I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke, I’m sure that my left leg is broke-- My hip hurts when I move my chin, My belly button’s caving in, My back is wrenched, my ankle’s sprained, My ‘pendix pains each time it rains. My nose is cold, my toes are numb. I have a sliver in my thumb. My neck is stiff, my voice is weak, I hardly whisper when I speak. My tongue is filling up my mouth, I think my hair is falling out. My elbow’s bent, my spine ain’t straight, My temperature is one-o-eight. My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear, There is a hole inside my ear. I have a hangn
There once was a girl named Sue. She came down with the case of the flu. She let out a sigh, "My temperature is high, what ever shall I do? Oh my! Oh my! I think I will die. What ever shall I do?"
So, she stumbled out of bed. "I know I'll take some meds. If this the flu, I take an aspirin or two. Then I'll drink some broth and some juice. Oh my! Oh my!" she began to cry. "I think this is acute."
So, she grumbled back to bed and pulled the covers over her head. She let out a sneeze, a cough and a wheeze. "Won't someone help me, please? Oh my! Oh my! Will I survive the case of the crazy flu?"
So, she finally fell asleep. She slept and slept for a week. She tossed and turned, her symptoms have passed. Her temperature normal at last. "Oh my! Oh my! I think I survived this case of the crazy flu."