Which basketball team is the favorite at the North Pole? The New York Old Saint Knicks.
The Ultimate Cure
A pharmacist comes back from his lunch to the pharmacy.
As he approaches, he sees a man outside the pharmacy clutching onto a pole for dear life, barely breathing, not moving, not twitching a muscle, just standing there, frozen.
The pharmacist goes up to his assistant and asks: "What's the matter with that guy? Wasn't he in here earlier?"
"Yes he was." Replies the assistant. "He had the most terrible cough and none of my prescriptions seemed to help."
"Well, he seems to be fine now."
"Sure he does. I gave him a box of laxatives. Now he won't dare cough!"