Why do blind people hate diving?
It scares the hell out of their dogs.
What is the worst type of blind people?
The Notsees.
What do Green Eggs and Ham and Fifty Shades of Grey have in common?
They both encourage people who can barely read to try new things.
Why are the railroad tracks angry? Because people are always crossing them.
I invented beach footwear for people with one leg.
It was a flop.
The Mayor's Nightly Visit
The Mayor's Nightly Visit A new mayor of Chicago is chosen. That night, Franklin Delano Roosevelt appears. The mayor asks him "What can I do to make Chicago even greater?". FDR responds: "Do everything for the people". The mayor wakes up startled, and mutters "Lies!" under his breath. The next night, George Washington appears in the dreams of the mayor. He asks "What can I do to make Chicago even greater?", to which GW responds "Never tell a lie". The mayor wakes up startled, and curses under his breath. "That's not possible!" The next night, Abraham Lincoln appears in the mayor's dreams. The mayor asks "What can I do to make Chicago even greater?" Abraham looks at the mayor, scratches his beard, and takes a while to answer. "Visit a theater."
There are three kinds of people in this world:
Those who can count, and those who can't.
99.9% of people are idiots.
Fortunately, I belong to the 1%.
People often accuse me of "stealing other's jokes" and being "a plagiarist." Their words not mine.
There are 10 types of people in this world. Those that know binary, and those that don't.
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
People with 20-20 vision..
Why you didn't warn us before??
With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.
A coronaissance, if you will.
You have so many pimples blind people find your face a fascinating read.
I HATE when homeless people shake their cans of change at me.
I get it, you have more money than me, you don't have to show off.
I only date blind people. It's the only way to make sure they're not seeing other lovers.