Dating

Why shouldn't you even think about dating the blond outfielder who got hit in the head by a baseball?
Because she's a bad catch.
Why do banana's do so well on the dating scene? Because they have Appeal!
I'm currently dating a famous soccer player. He's so loving and caring towards me.
He's a keeper.
Looking for a Wife
Looking for a Wife Fred is 34 years old and he is still single. One day, a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?" Fred replied, "Actually, I've found many women that I have wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them." His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, why not find a girl who's just like your mother?" A few months later, they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?" With a frown on his face, Fred answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much." The friend said, "Then what's the problem?" Fred sighed, "My father doesn't like her."
What’s a tree’s favorite dating site?
Timber.
Whats the best thing about dating homeless chicks? You can drop them off anywhere.
What's the worst thing about dating a blond? If you don't know what hole to put it in neither do they.
Dating is a lot like fishing.
Sure, there’s plenty of fish in the sea, but until I catch one, I’m just stuck here holding my rod.
What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months?
I think we should sea otter people.
Two astronauts who were dating, met up for a launch date.
I’ve been dating a homeless woman recently, and I think it’s starting to get serious…
She’s asked me to move out with her.
Generous Precautions
Generous Precautions Tim walks into a bar and sees his friend Peter slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Peter what's wrong. "Well," replies Peter, "you know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?" "Yes," replies Tim with a laugh. "Well," says Peter, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed." "That's great!" says Tim, "When are you going out?" "Well I went to meet her this evening," continues Peter, "but I was worried I'd get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped my penis to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show." "Sensible." says Tim. "So I get to her door," says Peter, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, tiniest dress you ever saw." "And what happened then?" "I kicked her in the face."
Two racquets started dating. Unfortunately, one was stringing the other along without any intention of tying the knot.