Dating Jokes

What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
I’ve started dating Medusa recently.
Our relationship rocks!
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
What’s a tree’s favorite dating site?
Timber.
What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months?
I think we should sea otter people.
I met your mother on a dating site.
I don't know, we just clicked.
I started dating the girl across the street. Honestly, lawn-distance relationships aren’t that hard.
I started dating a girl I really like. She's really into bees.
I think she's a keeper
Generous Precautions
Generous Precautions Tim walks into a bar and sees his friend Peter slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Peter what's wrong. "Well," replies Peter, "you know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?" "Yes," replies Tim with a laugh. "Well," says Peter, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed." "That's great!" says Tim, "When are you going out?" "Well I went to meet her this evening," continues Peter, "but I was worried I'd get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped my penis to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show." "Sensible." says Tim. "So I get to her door," says Peter, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, tiniest dress you ever saw." "And what happened then?" "I kicked her in the face."
What did Sophocles call his dating service in Ancient Greece?

Oedipal Arrangements.
Looking for a Wife
Looking for a Wife Fred is 34 years old and he is still single. One day, a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?" Fred replied, "Actually, I've found many women that I have wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them." His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, why not find a girl who's just like your mother?" A few months later, they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?" With a frown on his face, Fred answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much." The friend said, "Then what's the problem?" Fred sighed, "My father doesn't like her."
I’ve been dating a homeless woman recently, and I think it’s starting to get serious…
She’s asked me to move out with her.
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
Two astronauts who were dating, met up for a launch date.
Why did the lettuce stop dating the mushroom?
He though she was a pretty fungal, but didn't have mushroom on its schedule.
Why do banana's do so well on the dating scene? Because they have Appeal!
Sorry, I would’ve called sooner but my phone overheated...
I guess you’re just too hot for this dating app!
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