I used to randomly steal beverages off people... I stopped when I realized it wasn't my cup of tea
What do you call an overly cautious cup of tea? Uncertaintea.
What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag A tea bag stays longer in the cup.
An Native American drank 100 cups of tea. Next day they found him dead in his tea pee.
What's the difference between England and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
When shouldn't you drink a hot beverage? If it's not your cup of tea.
A Fresh Cup of Coffee
A young man dressed walks tall through the doors of the local coffee shop one Sunday morning. He sits lazily and looks the place up and down before raising his hand and summoning a waiter.
"I would like your FRESHEST coffee, none of that muddy stuff you probably usually make from yesterday's leftovers."
The waiter assured him they make fresh coffee many times per day.
"I'll believe it when I taste it." Said the young man. "I'm from New York and I know good coffee. There's very little chance you've got good coffee here, so at least make a new batch for me." and he shoos him away.
The waiter goes to the kitchen and comes back with a cup of steamy coffee.
The man tastes it and immediately makes a disgusted face. "Just what I thought, that's not FRESH. Come on, make me another one!"
The waiter goes back to the kitchen and indeed takes some time to return. Upon his return he is holding a steaming and aromatic coffee cup. The waiter gives the gentleman the cup and he takes a sip... before spitting it out immediately.
He turns to the waiter and shouts, “This is way worse! This coffee tastes like mud!”
The waiter, looking surprised, turns to the man and says, “But, sir, it’s fresh ground!”