Jokes > Tags > Cup

Cup

To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
When I go to donate blood I expect a cup of tea, a biscuit and a polite word of thanks...
...not a whole lot of screaming, my bucket confiscated, and a cop asking me questions.
“Hey barista, how much for a cup of coffee?” says a customer.
“Two dollars,” replies the barista, “and refills are free.”
“Great. Then I’ll have a refill,” answers the customer.
I applied to be a sperm donor recently and the nurse asked me if I could masturbate in the cup.
I told her I’ve done it a few times before but I don’t know if I’m ready to compete in a tournament.
I used to randomly steal beverages off people...
I stopped when I realized it wasn't my cup of tea
What do you call an overly cautious cup of tea?
Uncertaintea.
What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag
A tea bag stays longer in the cup.
An Native American drank 100 cups of tea.
Next day they found him dead in his tea pee.
What's the difference between England and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
When shouldn't you drink a hot beverage? If it's not your cup of tea.
My wife left me because she thinks I'm too insecure...
No, wait, she's back. She was just making a cup of tea.
Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?
He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!
What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.
You spilled your entire cup of coffee? What's sumatra with you?
She'll take whatever beans necessary to get her daily cup of coffee. Whatever. Beans. Necessary.