Chef Jokes

When the chef asked which ingredients were missing in the signature dish, someone said quickly, โ€˜u-need-cornโ€™.
What gun does a military chef use?
A salt rifle.
Why did the female chef win the cook-off?
Because cheese grater!
What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal?
- Bone Appetit!
I ordered chicken fingers tossed in Buffalo sauce the other day
I asked the chef to be gentle while tossing them though. Because theyโ€™re tenders.
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
I caught the chef sticking his hand in the cooking pot. He looked at me and said...
"I was just feeling a little chili."
The Husband's Budgetary Concerns A rich man comes home and immediately starts shouting at his wife. "I've been looking at our expenses and they are through the roof! What have you got so much to spend on? From now on, things will need to be different!" "Different how?" the wife asked. "Well, for starters, if you learned how to cook, we wouldn't need a personal chef. If you learned to clean, we wouldn't need a maid!" The wife looks at him and responds: "Then we just need to teach you how to satisfy a woman. Then we can let the gardener go as well."
Have you heard about the chef on space station? Heโ€™s not that much of an astronaut, but his food is literally out of this world!
I recently took a trip to Alaska. We ate at a fancy restaurant where the chef made us an amazing meal from native animals and vegetables we helped forage. I asked if he had ever had whale blubber or seal meat.
He said "nah, Iโ€™m not really Inuit."
I was watching an Australian cooking show recently and the audience began applauding when the chef made meringue. Which is odd because...
Australians usually boo meringue.
What did the pastry chef say when a banana cream pie he made completely satisfies a tyrannical ruler?
It hit despot.
Forgot His Prayers A husband and wife were dining at a 5-star restaurant. When their food arrived, the husband said: โ€œOur food has arrived! Letโ€™s eat!โ€ His wife reminded him: โ€œHoney, you always say your prayers at home before your dinner!โ€ Her husband replied: โ€œThatโ€™s at home, my dear. Here the chef knows how to cook!โ€
I had a meal recently that was made with ketchup and mustard.
It was delicious! My condiments to the chef!
The Horse and the Chicken A man faces a violation for adding horse meat to the chicken stew in his restaurant. At the court heโ€™s asked why he did it and how much horse meat was in those stew. โ€œFor the money of course and I solemnly swear I always kept the ratio 50:50!โ€ While the infraction caused many unhappy customers, upon seeing the manโ€™s honesty the judge decides not to revoke his license. However he in turn must always advertise that horse is part of the ingredients. With a sigh of relief, the restaurant owner pays the fine and walks out of the court house with his wife and friend He friend asked him โ€œDid you really put horse meat or did you add anything else with the chicken?โ€ โ€œNope. Only horse meat and chickenโ€. โ€œNow tell me the truth man, come on, it was mostly horse meat wasnโ€™t it?โ€ โ€œNope. It was always 50:50... one horse per one chicken.โ€
I caught the chef sticking his hand in the cooking pot. He looked at me and said...
"I was just feeling a little chili."
Why did the Iron Chef have to stop cooking? He ran out of Thyme.
Why did the squirrel go to kola-nary school? Because it had pines to be a chef.
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