Together

When we put our two hearts together, we can’t be beat.
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
Rodney Dangerfield
What do you call two male avocados who hang out and drink together?
Avocabros.
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
A man and his wife are playing Dungeons and Dragons together...
During the man's turn, he rolls his D20 and rolls a 1. Simultaneously, he stubs his toe against the table leg so hard that his toe essentially falls off. Blood everywhere. The wife has to rush them both to the ER.

She's waiting.

She's waiting...

The doctor emerges, and the wife rushes over. "How is my husband? What's his condition?"

The doctor replies: "Critical, miss."
Why did the two puns go to camp together?
They wanted to be pun-kmates!
As the taxi raced towards the hospital, my wife cried, "The baby's coming! Don't stop the car! I can't make it! DON'T! CAN'T! WON'T!"
"Driver, hurry!" I implored. "Her contractions are getting closer together!"
What did one mole say to the other?
We have great chemistry together.
With all this talk of Corona Virus, the people who make sanitising gel are rubbing their hands together.
Use These Words Creatively
Use These Words Creatively Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle. The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time. The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return. Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them, “The first one who can use the words “liver” and “cheese” together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me.” The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says “I love liver and cheese.” “Oh, how childish,” said the Poodle, “That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever.” She turned to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and said: “How well can you do?” “Ummm...I HATE liver and cheese,” blurts the Golden Retriever. “My, my,” said the Poodle, “I guess it’s hopeless. That’s just as dumb as the Lab’s sentence.” She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, “How about you, little guy?” The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is the Chihuahua. He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says, “Liver alone, cheese mine."
If you’re doing dangerous work on a platform that’s held together by screwed in bolts, then your life is hanging by a thread.
A blonde was cruising down the highway at breakneck speed when a cop pulled her over.
“May I see your license and registration, please?” asked the cop.
Miffed, the blonde said, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my license and today you want me to show it to you!”
The zookeeper was struggling to explain why two tropical birds were stuck together.
It was toucan fusing.
What did the pear say to the other pear when they just got together?
It’s good to be a pair.
You know you’re getting old when…
You and your teeth don’t sleep together.