Caught

Did you hear about the monk who was caught molesting kids? Yeah, bastard was telling the poor kids to touch his eunuch-horn.
I got caught masturbating with a pickle.
I was Gherkin off.
I just caught a walking pear tree...
In my Pear Ent trap.
What did the little goats say when they were caught playing a prank on the sheep?
Sorry, we were just kidding.
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
I caught the chef sticking his hand in the cooking pot. He looked at me and said...
"I was just feeling a little chili."
I almost got caught stealing a board game today.
But it was a Risk I was willing to take.
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
The Big Bastard
The Big Bastard A priest goes on a fishing trip with a few others and some sailors to help them. A few hours in, he suddenly hooks a very big fish. Helping him reel it in, a sailor says "Whoa, look at the size of that Bastard!". "Hey, mind your language!" says the priest. Embarrassed, the sailor thinks quickly and blurts out, "Sorry father, but that's what this fish is called, it's a Bastard fish". Accepting the explanation, the priest forgives the sailor and takes the fish back to church. "Look at this huge Bastard!" says the priest, spotting the bishop. "Language, please! this is God's house," replies the bishop. "No, no that's what this fish is called," says the priest. "Oh," says the bishop, scratching his chin "I could clean that bastard and we could have it for dinner." So the bishop takes the fish, cleans it, and brings it to the mother superior. "Could you cook this bastard for dinner tonight?" he asks her. "My, what language!" she exclaims, clearly shocked. "No, sister that's what the fish is called - a bastard", says the bishop. Satisfied with the explanation, the mother superior says, "Wonderful, I'll cook that bastard tonight, The Pope is coming for dinner!" The fish tastes just great and The Pope asks where they got it. "Well, I caught the bastard!" says the priest. "And I cleaned the bastard!" says the bishop. "And I cooked the bastard!" says the mother superior. The Pope stares at them for a long moment with a steely gaze, leans back in his chair, takes off his cap, puts his feet up on the table, pours himself a whiskey and says:" You know what? You schmucks are alright."
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
I caught the chef sticking his hand in the cooking pot. He looked at me and said...
"I was just feeling a little chili."
Why can't chefs play baseball? They always get caught trying to steal a basil.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
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