A man arrives at the pearly gates and notices a group of rich people in expensive suits fighting over a needle. One guy yells, "It’s my turn!" while another in a black baseball cap jabs himself repeatedly, shouting, "Ow, ow, ow!" The man turns to St. Peter and asks, "What’s going on over there?" St. Peter sighs. "Oh, that’s just the world’s richest trying to get into heaven." Confused, the man points at the needle. "Okay… but what are they doing with that?" St. Peter shrugs. "You know Mark 10:25, right? 'Easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter heaven'?" "Sure, but… where’s the camel?" St. Peter smirks. "We ran out. This seemed easier."

Three English men were walking through a desert. They were tired and thirsty but most of all hungry. Soon, they came across a nomad with about two camels, one alive and one very much dead. The nomad said "Hey there, you guys look hungry" The three men all nodded. "I tell you what, I was about to start eating this camel. I'll share it with you" The three men soon started arguing about who gets what when one of them chimes in with a "Alright guys, how about this? Whatever football team we support dictates what part of the camel we can have." So he goes "Well, I support Liverpool." So he got the liver "I support Hartlepool." said the second man. So he got the heart. The last guy said "I support Arsenal but I'm not hungry."

A nun and a priest were traveling across the desert and realized halfway across that the camel they were using for transportation was about to die. They set up a make-shift camp, hoping someone would come to their rescue, but to no avail. Soon the camel died. After several days of not being rescued, they agreed that they were not going to be rescued. They prayed a lot (of course), and they discussed their predicament in great depth. Finally, the priest said to the nun, "you know sister, I am about to die, and there's always been one thing I've wanted here on earth--to see a woman naked. Would you mind taking off your clothes so I can look at you?" The nun thought about his request for several seconds and then agreed to take off her clothes. As she was doing so, she remarked, "well, Father, now that I think about it, I've never seen a man naked, either. Would you mind taking off your clothes, too?" With little hesitation, the priest also stripped. Suddenly the nun exclaimed, "Father! What is that little thing hanging between your legs?" The priest patiently answered, "That, my child, is a gift from God. If I put it in you, it creates a new life." "Well," responded the nun, "forget about me. Stick it in the camel!"

A mother and a baby camel were talking one day when the baby camel asked, "Mom, why do we have these huge three-toed feet?" The mother replied, "Well son when we trek across the desert, our toes will help us stay on top of the soft sand." Two minutes later the young camel asked, "Mom, why do we have these long eyelashes?" They are there to keep the sand out of our eyes on the trips through the desert," the mother said. "Mom, why have we got these great big humps on our back?" "They are there to help us store water for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without drinking for long periods of time." "So we have huge feet to stop us from sinking, long eyelashes to keep the sand out of our eyes, and these humps to store water." "Yes dear," said the mother. "So why are we in the San Diego Zoo?"

An old man was walking in the desert with his donkey when he reached a village. The people welcomed him with everything they could, offering him hospitality, taking care of his donkey and feeding him. While having dinner, he was surprised to be offered camel milk, as it is of notoriously bad taste. He thus asked about it and was told that the village has been cursed with an everlasting drought, and that the people have resorted to saving however little water they could find for crops. "Truth be told, I am one of the wise.", he said, "I know how to bring you rain. However, you must first bring me a wide bucket full of water, for I need some to bring more." The next morning, all of the villagers heard of his saying, and started collecting every drop of water they still had in reserve. In the end, there was barely enough to qualify for a bucket, and they gave it to the man. He then took the water, and walked within his host's house. There, he took off his dirty clothes, and started washing them. A curious one of the kids saw him through the window, and went on to alert everyone around. By the time they arrived, angry and shouting, it was already too late. The old man has washed all his clothes and was calmly hanging them. "Shame! Shame on you, old man, for wasting our water when our kids don't have enough to drink!" growled the chief. But as soon as he finished speaking, the sky darkened as the clouds gathered around the village. It started raining and it did not stop for 5 days straight. People got their fill, and everyone's reserves were overflowing. The old man was treated as a guest of honor and a hero, and the chief apologized profusely for ever doubting him. Only when he was about to leave, had the kid gathered the courage to ask about how he did it. "It's simple," said the old man "this always happens when I hang my clothes to dry."