Swim Jokes

Are you the flags in a 200 back swim? Because I’ve been looking for you forever.
Hey girl, I'd swim across the ocean just to see you smile.
What do you call a titan that can't swim?
Titanic.
Why didn't the hipster swim in the river? It was too mainstream.
Why are fish so smart Because they swim in schools!
Why did the Pilgrims sail to America?
It was too far to swim.
Why do seals swim in salt water ?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
Why do baby seals swim in salt water? Cause pepper water makes them sneeze.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
Which One Do You Save? A 65 year old lady suddenly started learning to swim instead of her usual routine of going to bingo. Everyone was curious and asked her: "why the change in your interest?" The lady, with a look of helplessness replied: "Whenever my son and daughter-in-law quarrel with each other my Daughter-in-law always asks my son : - "If your mom and I fall into water, which one would you save first?" So, because I do not want to put my son in a difficult position, I am learning to swim!" A few days later, her son and his wife were quarreling again, and the daughter-in-law unreasonably asked: " now tell me! If your mom and I fall into the water, whom will you save first?" The husband replied: "I don't have to get into the water. My mom knows how to swim, she will save you." The wife refused to relent: "No, you have to jump into the water, and have to save one of us. Which one will it BE?" Her husband replied: "Then I'm sorry to say you'll die anyway because I don't know to swim, and my mom will definitely save me first!"
Why do volleyball players love to swim? They like diving in the deep and then floating in the shallow.
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
If they swam in pepper water they would sneeze.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
There once was a lady from Guam
who said, "Now the sea is so calm,
I shall swim in the dark!"
She encountered a shark.
Let us all sing the Twenty-Third Psalm.
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