It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It’s so hot I saw a chicken lay an omelet.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It’s so hot that I’m using Celsius instead of Fahrenheit just to have a lower number.
It’s so hot everyone is wearing sweat pants.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It’s so hot that corn on the stalks starts popping.
It’s so hot that my sprinkler released steam.
It’s so hot Jehovah’s Witnesses started telemarketing.
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
It’s so hot that hot water now comes out of both taps.
It’s so hot McDonald’s is frying burgers on parked cars.
It’s so hot that my chocolate milk is now hot cocoa.
It’s so hot my thermometer goes up to “Are you kidding me?”
It’s so hot granny broke wind just to have a little breeze.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.
It’s so hot I saw the Devil in Wal-Mart buying an air conditioner.
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home, it was toast.
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot my dream house is an igloo.
It’s so hot you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to drive your car.
It’s so hot the Statue of Liberty was asked to lower her arm.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It’s so hot firecrackers light themselves.
It was so hot that I poured boiling water on myself to cool down.
It’s so hot Adam and Eve traded their fig leaves for ice cubes.
It’s so hot I’m sweating like a politician on election day.
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
It’s so hot, when the temperature drops below 95 I start to feel chilly.
It’s so hot you realize asphalt has a liquid state.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It’s so hot I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.
It’s so hot your clothes iron themselves.
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
It’s so hot that the only waves at the beach were heatwaves.
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!