It’s so hot I saw the Devil in Wal-Mart buying an air conditioner.
It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It’s so hot, when the temperature drops below 95 I start to feel chilly.
It’s so hot granny broke wind just to have a little breeze.
It’s so hot I’m sweating like a politician on election day.
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It’s so hot the birds are using oven mitts to pull worms out of the ground.
It’s so hot even my wife’s heart is melting.
It’s so hot that corn on the stalks starts popping.
It's so hot out that my sweat is sweating.
It’s so hot that the only waves at the beach were heatwaves.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It’s so hot I saw a chicken lay an omelet.
It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It’s so hot I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.
It’s so hot you realize asphalt has a liquid state.
It’s so hot that my kite crashed and burned.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
It’s so hot that my chocolate milk is now hot cocoa.
It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It’s so hot that my sprinkler released steam.
It’s so hot the Statue of Liberty was asked to lower her arm.
It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It's so hot I saw an Amish guy buy an air conditioner.
It’s so hot your clothes iron themselves.
It’s so hot polar bears are wearing sunscreen.
It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.
It’s so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It’s so hot that you can poach eggs in a pool.
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It was so hot that I poured boiling water on myself to cool down.
It’s so hot Jehovah’s Witnesses started telemarketing.
It’s so hot that hot water now comes out of both taps.
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
It’s so hot outside I just saw two hobbits throw a ring off my roof.
It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with potholders.
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