It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It’s so hot that the only waves at the beach were heatwaves.
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot granny broke wind just to have a little breeze.
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It’s so hot Jehovah’s Witnesses started telemarketing.
It's so hot outside the ice cream man just change the sign on the side of his truck to "cream."
It’s so hot that I’m using Celsius instead of Fahrenheit just to have a lower number.
It’s so hot I saw two hydrants fight over a dog.
It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with potholders.
It’s so hot polar bears are wearing sunscreen.
It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It’s so hot even my wife’s heart is melting.
It's so hot out that my sweat is sweating.
It’s so hot that you can poach eggs in a pool.
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
It was so hot that I poured boiling water on myself to cool down.
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.
It’s so hot firecrackers light themselves.
It’s so hot the Statue of Liberty was asked to lower her arm.
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home, it was toast.
It’s so hot my dream house is an igloo.
It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.
It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It’s so hot that my kite crashed and burned.
It’s so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot, when the temperature drops below 95 I start to feel chilly.
It’s so hot I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It’s so hot outside I just saw two hobbits throw a ring off my roof.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It’s so hot that corn on the stalks starts popping.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.
It’s so hot I’m sweating like a politician on election day.
It’s so hot I saw a chicken lay an omelet.