It's so hot outside the ice cream man just change the sign on the side of his truck to "cream."
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It’s so hot my dream house is an igloo.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It’s so hot, when the temperature drops below 95 I start to feel chilly.
It’s so hot that my chocolate milk is now hot cocoa.
It’s so hot granny broke wind just to have a little breeze.
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It's so hot I saw an Amish guy buy an air conditioner.
It’s so hot Adam and Eve traded their fig leaves for ice cubes.
It’s so hot that corn on the stalks starts popping.
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
It’s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
It’s so hot that my sprinkler released steam.
It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with potholders.
It was so hot that I poured boiling water on myself to cool down.
It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It’s so hot even my wife’s heart is melting.
It’s so hot you realize asphalt has a liquid state.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot the Statue of Liberty was asked to lower her arm.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It’s so hot polar bears are wearing sunscreen.
It’s so hot that you can poach eggs in a pool.
It’s so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer.
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It’s so hot I saw two hydrants fight over a dog.
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
It’s so hot my thermometer goes up to “Are you kidding me?”
It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It's so hot out that my sweat is sweating.
It’s so hot that hot water now comes out of both taps.
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It’s so hot everyone is wearing sweat pants.
It’s so hot that I’m using Celsius instead of Fahrenheit just to have a lower number.
It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It’s so hot I saw the Devil in Wal-Mart buying an air conditioner.
It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.
It’s so hot I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.