It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It's so hot out that my sweat is sweating.
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It’s so hot even my wife’s heart is melting.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It's so hot I saw an Amish guy buy an air conditioner.
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with potholders.
It's so hot outside the ice cream man just change the sign on the side of his truck to "cream."
It’s so hot I saw two hydrants fight over a dog.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It’s so hot my thermometer goes up to “Are you kidding me?”
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It’s so hot Jehovah’s Witnesses started telemarketing.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It’s so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer.
It’s so hot that my sprinkler released steam.
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot I saw the Devil in Wal-Mart buying an air conditioner.
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home, it was toast.
It’s so hot I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.
It’s so hot that corn on the stalks starts popping.
It’s so hot that you can poach eggs in a pool.
It was so hot that I poured boiling water on myself to cool down.
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot polar bears are wearing sunscreen.
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It’s so hot your clothes iron themselves.
It’s so hot, when the temperature drops below 95 I start to feel chilly.
It’s so hot McDonald’s is frying burgers on parked cars.
It’s so hot firecrackers light themselves.
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It’s so hot everyone is wearing sweat pants.
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.
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