It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with potholders.
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It’s so hot I saw the Devil in Wal-Mart buying an air conditioner.
It’s so hot, when the temperature drops below 95 I start to feel chilly.
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home, it was toast.
It’s so hot even my wife’s heart is melting.
It’s so hot you realize asphalt has a liquid state.
It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.
It’s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot firecrackers light themselves.
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.
It’s so hot my dream house is an igloo.
It’s so hot your clothes iron themselves.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It’s so hot Adam and Eve traded their fig leaves for ice cubes.
It’s so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
It’s so hot that corn on the stalks starts popping.
It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It’s so hot polar bears are wearing sunscreen.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It’s so hot that you can poach eggs in a pool.
It’s so hot everyone is wearing sweat pants.
It’s so hot I saw a chicken lay an omelet.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It’s so hot that my chocolate milk is now hot cocoa.
It’s so hot that the only waves at the beach were heatwaves.
It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It's so hot outside the ice cream man just change the sign on the side of his truck to "cream."
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It was so hot that I poured boiling water on myself to cool down.
It’s so hot that my sprinkler released steam.
It’s so hot the birds are using oven mitts to pull worms out of the ground.
It’s so hot I’m sweating like a politician on election day.
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
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