It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.
It’s so hot my dream house is an igloo.
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
It’s so hot my thermometer goes up to “Are you kidding me?”
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It’s so hot your clothes iron themselves.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It’s so hot even my wife’s heart is melting.
It’s so hot I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It’s so hot I saw two hydrants fight over a dog.
It’s so hot everyone is wearing sweat pants.
It’s so hot that you can poach eggs in a pool.
It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.
It’s so hot the birds are using oven mitts to pull worms out of the ground.
It’s so hot that hot water now comes out of both taps.
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It’s so hot that my kite crashed and burned.
It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.
It’s so hot you realize asphalt has a liquid state.
It’s so hot outside I just saw two hobbits throw a ring off my roof.
It’s so hot that the only waves at the beach were heatwaves.
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It’s so hot, when the temperature drops below 95 I start to feel chilly.
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It's so hot out that my sweat is sweating.
It’s so hot I saw a chicken lay an omelet.
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
It’s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.
It’s so hot you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to drive your car.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot that my chocolate milk is now hot cocoa.
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It's so hot I saw an Amish guy buy an air conditioner.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It’s so hot granny broke wind just to have a little breeze.
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