It’s so cold I actually enjoyed someone spilling hot coffee in my lap.
It’s so cold washroom attendants have started putting salt boxes next to the toilets.
It was so cold when I turned on the shower, I got hail.
It’s so cold that I’m breathing out snowflakes!
It's so cold that the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses.
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.
It’s so cold I left Starbuck with mocha lattes and by the time I got to the car I had fudgicles.
It's so cold that people look forward to getting a fever.
It’s so cold we have to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our clothes!
It’s so cold that Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.
It's so cold that I’m drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.
It’s so cold we have to put skates on just to move around the house.
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
It’s so cold that I have to wave a blow-torch in front of my nose just to have a sneeze.
It's so cold that lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
It’s so cold that when I dialed the emergency number, there was a recording that said to call back in spring.
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It’s so cold the flames of our fire froze.
It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
It’s so cold every kind of cereal in the cupboard is frosted – including the boxes!
It’s so cold kids are using a new excuse to stay up late: “But Mom, my pajamas haven’t thawed out yet!”
It’s so cold I saw Superman taking a taxi.
It’s so cold walruses were visiting the hardware store in search of more insulation.
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
It was so cold that I saw a Greyhound bus and the dog was riding on the inside.
It’s so cold pickpockets are sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm.
It’s so cold we were afraid to spit because it can ricochet.