It’s so cold I had to eat ice cream just to warm up.
It’s so cold that I’m breathing out snowflakes!
It’s so cold my mail shattered when I tried to open it.
It’s so cold I actually enjoyed someone spilling hot coffee in my lap.
It’s so cold teenagers began to worry about getting goosebumps rather than acne.
It’s so cold kids are using a new excuse to stay up late: “But Mom, my pajamas haven’t thawed out yet!”
It’s so cold that bed bugs promised not to bite you as long as they can snuggle in your pajamas.
It’s so cold I swapped my pillow for a grill.
It was so cold that we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
It's so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.
It’s so cold that the Statue of Liberty put her torch inside her dress!
It's so cold that lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
It was so cold the mice were playing ice hockey in the toilet bowl.
It was so cold that I saw a Greyhound bus and the dog was riding on the inside.
It’s so cold our hats have turned into ice caps.
It's so cold that trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It's so cold that I’m drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.
It’s so cold mailmen watch out for both dogs and polar bears.
It’s so cold we didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
It’s so cold pickpockets are sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm.
It’s so cold ice cubes are coming out of my tap.
It’s so cold I walk to school with a toaster in my pants.
It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It's so cold that people look forward to getting a fever.
It’s so cold we had to punch a hole in the air just to get outside.
It's so cold hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
It's so cold that the band changed their name to Red Cold Chili Peppers.
It’s so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp post.
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