It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It’s so cold the anticipation of waiting for my ketchup to come out of the bottle lasted three months.
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
It's so cold that people started chipping their teeth on soup!
It’s so cold our table cutlery now includes a saw.
It's so cold that when cows are milked, ice cream comes out.
It’s so cold I tried to take out the garbage, but it refused to go.
It’s so cold we didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
It’s so cold I saw a gangsta with his pants pulled up.
It’s so cold I actually enjoyed someone spilling hot coffee in my lap.
It’s so cold that I have to wave a blow-torch in front of my nose just to have a sneeze.
It’s so cold I swapped my pillow for a grill.
It’s so cold ice cubes are coming out of my tap.
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It’s so cold we had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!
It’s so cold we were afraid to spit because it can ricochet.
It’s so cold that the Statue of Liberty put her torch inside her dress!
It’s so cold my shadow ended up freezing on the sidewalk.
It's so cold that people look forward to getting a fever.
It’s so cold teenagers began to worry about getting goosebumps rather than acne.
It’s so cold a glacier was seen heading slowly down the main street of our town.
It’s so cold that even the polar bears started drinking hot chocolate.
It’s so cold that Grandpa’s teeth are chattering – in the glass!
It’s so cold our hats have turned into ice caps.
It was so cold when I turned on the shower, I got hail.
It’s so cold Levi Strauss started making electric jeans.
It’s so cold the police told a robber to freeze, and he really did.
It’s so cold people with spiked hair were being arrested for carrying around a dangerous weapon.
It's so cold that the band changed their name to Red Cold Chili Peppers.