It’s so cold I tried to take out the garbage, but it refused to go.
It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It’s so cold teenagers began to worry about getting goosebumps rather than acne.
It’s so cold walruses were visiting the hardware store in search of more insulation.
It's so cold that the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses.
It’s so cold we have to put skates on just to move around the house.
It’s so cold we had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!
It’s so cold it’s colder than any room packed with ex-wives.
It’s so cold the anticipation of waiting for my ketchup to come out of the bottle lasted three months.
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It’s so cold I left Starbuck with mocha lattes and by the time I got to the car I had fudgicles.
It’s so cold you could rob me with a bucket of water right now!!
It’s so cold fish were jumping out of the ice holes and straight into the frying pan.
It’s so cold that the snowflakes froze in the air and birds used them as stepping stones to get from tree to tree.
It's so cold that the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It’s so cold I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
It’s so cold I swapped my pillow for a grill.
It’s so cold travel agencies are advertising tropical holidays to Alaska.
It's so cold that lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It’s so cold sheep were demanding their wool back.
It’s so cold the flames of our fire froze.
It’s so cold Levi Strauss started making electric jeans.
It’s so cold pickpockets are sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm.
It’s so cold that even the ATM shows minus.
It's so cold that polar bears wear jackets.
It’s so cold we have to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our clothes!
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.