It's so cold that polar bears wear jackets.
It was so cold that we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
It's so cold hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
It’s so cold fish were jumping out of the ice holes and straight into the frying pan.
It’s so cold that when we baked the frozen pizza in the oven for 25 minutes, it was still frozen.
It's so cold that the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses.
It’s so cold mailmen watch out for both dogs and polar bears.
It’s so cold people with spiked hair were being arrested for carrying around a dangerous weapon.
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It’s so cold we were afraid to spit because it can ricochet.
It’s so cold the rats in the alley were bribing the cats for a snuggle.
It's so cold that when cows are milked, ice cream comes out.
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
It’s so cold refrigerators are redundant.
It's so cold that the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
It’s so cold ice cubes are coming out of my tap.
It’s so cold that I have to wave a blow-torch in front of my nose just to have a sneeze.
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
It’s so cold our table cutlery now includes a saw.
It’s so cold the local graveyard put heaters out for the ghosts.
It’s so cold every kind of cereal in the cupboard is frosted – including the boxes!
It’s so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp post.
It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
It was so cold when I blinked my eyes froze shut.
It’s so cold pickpockets are sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm.
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.
It’s so cold kids are using a new excuse to stay up late: “But Mom, my pajamas haven’t thawed out yet!”
It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.
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