It’s so cold I had to eat ice cream just to warm up.
It’s so cold that the snowflakes froze in the air and birds used them as stepping stones to get from tree to tree.
It was so cold when I turned on the shower, I got hail.
It’s so cold that when we baked the frozen pizza in the oven for 25 minutes, it was still frozen.
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It’s so cold a glacier was seen heading slowly down the main street of our town.
It's so cold that people look forward to getting a fever.
It’s so cold the rats in the alley were bribing the cats for a snuggle.
It's so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.
It’s so cold the anticipation of waiting for my ketchup to come out of the bottle lasted three months.
It’s so cold we had to punch a hole in the air just to get outside.
It's so cold that Starbucks started serving coffee on a stick.
It’s so cold teenagers began to worry about getting goosebumps rather than acne.
It’s so cold travel agencies are advertising tropical holidays to Alaska.
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
It’s so cold our table cutlery now includes a saw.
It's so cold that the band changed their name to Red Cold Chili Peppers.
It’s so cold we didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
It was so cold that we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
It's so cold that the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
It’s so cold pickpockets are sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm.
It’s so cold I saw a gangsta with his pants pulled up.
It’s so cold I saw Superman taking a taxi.
It’s so cold I actually enjoyed someone spilling hot coffee in my lap.
It’s so cold refrigerators are redundant.
It’s so cold I walk to school with a toaster in my pants.
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
It's so cold hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It’s so cold ice cubes are coming out of my tap.
It’s so cold that I’m breathing out snowflakes!
It’s so cold my mail shattered when I tried to open it.
It's so cold that polar bears wear jackets.
It’s so cold I tried to take out the garbage, but it refused to go.
It’s so cold we were afraid to spit because it can ricochet.
It was so cold that I saw a Greyhound bus and the dog was riding on the inside.
It’s so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp post.
It’s so cold that even the ATM shows minus.
It’s so cold I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
It's so cold that trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
It’s so cold my hat wrapped itself in a scarf.
It’s so cold we have to put skates on just to move around the house.
It's so cold that our words froze in midair — we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we could hear what we were talking about.
It’s so cold my shadow ended up freezing on the sidewalk.
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It’s so cold that even the polar bears started drinking hot chocolate.
It’s so cold we have to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our clothes!
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
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