It’s so cold the police told a robber to freeze, and he really did.
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.
It’s so cold teenagers began to worry about getting goosebumps rather than acne.
It’s so cold that the Statue of Liberty put her torch inside her dress!
It’s so cold that Grandpa’s teeth are chattering – in the glass!
It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
It’s so cold Levi Strauss started making electric jeans.
It’s so cold I left Starbuck with mocha lattes and by the time I got to the car I had fudgicles.
It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It's so cold that the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses.
It’s so cold cops are tasering themselves.
It’s so cold we had to punch a hole in the air just to get outside.
It’s so cold that bed bugs promised not to bite you as long as they can snuggle in your pajamas.
It’s so cold you could rob me with a bucket of water right now!!
It's so cold that the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
It’s so cold ice cubes are coming out of my tap.
It’s so cold refrigerators are redundant.
It’s so cold people with spiked hair were being arrested for carrying around a dangerous weapon.
It’s so cold I tried to take out the garbage, but it refused to go.
It’s so cold that even the ATM shows minus.
It's so cold that polar bears wear jackets.
It's so cold hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It’s so cold I walk to school with a toaster in my pants.
It’s so cold I saw a gangsta with his pants pulled up.
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
It’s so cold I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
It’s so cold the cosmetics counter at the local department store started selling cream for goosebumps.
It’s so cold we have to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our clothes!
It’s so cold every kind of cereal in the cupboard is frosted – including the boxes!
It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.
It’s so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp post.
It’s so cold the rats in the alley were bribing the cats for a snuggle.
It was so cold when I blinked my eyes froze shut.
It’s so cold we didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It's so cold that when cows are milked, ice cream comes out.
It’s so cold walruses were visiting the hardware store in search of more insulation.
It’s so cold that even the polar bears started drinking hot chocolate.
It’s so cold our hats have turned into ice caps.
It was so cold when I turned on the shower, I got hail.
It’s so cold pickpockets are sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm.
It’s so cold it’s colder than any room packed with ex-wives.
It’s so cold that when I dialed the emergency number, there was a recording that said to call back in spring.
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
It’s so cold we were afraid to spit because it can ricochet.
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It's so cold that Starbucks started serving coffee on a stick.
It’s so cold my shadow ended up freezing on the sidewalk.
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