It’s so cold mum used a saw to serve us milk.
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.
It’s so cold that even the ATM shows minus.
It’s so cold I saw a gangsta with his pants pulled up.
It’s so cold we have to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our clothes!
It’s so cold I actually enjoyed someone spilling hot coffee in my lap.
It's so cold hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
It's so cold that people look forward to getting a fever.
It’s so cold I saw Superman taking a taxi.
It’s so cold my mail shattered when I tried to open it.
It’s so cold dogs are wearing cats.
It’s so cold the police told a robber to freeze, and he really did.
It's so cold that when cows are milked, ice cream comes out.
It’s so cold our table cutlery now includes a saw.
It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It’s so cold we were afraid to spit because it can ricochet.
It's so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
It was so cold that I saw a Greyhound bus and the dog was riding on the inside.
It’s so cold cops are tasering themselves.
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
It’s so cold we had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!
It’s so cold we didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
It’s so cold sheep were demanding their wool back.
It was so cold the mice were playing ice hockey in the toilet bowl.
It's so cold that Starbucks started serving coffee on a stick.
It's so cold that the band changed their name to Red Cold Chili Peppers.
It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.
It’s so cold that I’m breathing out snowflakes!
It’s so cold a glacier was seen heading slowly down the main street of our town.
It’s so cold fish were jumping out of the ice holes and straight into the frying pan.
It’s so cold Levi Strauss started making electric jeans.
It’s so cold ice cubes are coming out of my tap.
It’s so cold the anticipation of waiting for my ketchup to come out of the bottle lasted three months.
It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
It’s so cold the cosmetics counter at the local department store started selling cream for goosebumps.
It’s so cold I had to eat ice cream just to warm up.
It's so cold that people started chipping their teeth on soup!
It’s so cold the local graveyard put heaters out for the ghosts.
It was so cold that we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
It’s so cold that bed bugs promised not to bite you as long as they can snuggle in your pajamas.
It’s so cold you could rob me with a bucket of water right now!!
It’s so cold refrigerators are redundant.
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It’s so cold that Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.
It's so cold that lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
It’s so cold the rats in the alley were bribing the cats for a snuggle.
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