It’s so cold we have to put skates on just to move around the house.
It’s so cold travel agencies are advertising tropical holidays to Alaska.
It’s so cold we have to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our clothes!
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.
It’s so cold ice cubes are coming out of my tap.
It's so cold that when cows are milked, ice cream comes out.
It’s so cold I swapped my pillow for a grill.
It's so cold that polar bears wear jackets.
It’s so cold I tried to take out the garbage, but it refused to go.
It was so cold the mice were playing ice hockey in the toilet bowl.
It’s so cold a glacier was seen heading slowly down the main street of our town.
It’s so cold that I have to wave a blow-torch in front of my nose just to have a sneeze.
It’s so cold that bed bugs promised not to bite you as long as they can snuggle in your pajamas.
It’s so cold we had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!
It’s so cold pickpockets are sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm.
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It’s so cold mum used a saw to serve us milk.
It's so cold that I’m drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
It’s so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp post.
It’s so cold the local graveyard put heaters out for the ghosts.
It's so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.
It’s so cold dogs are wearing cats.
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
It’s so cold fish were jumping out of the ice holes and straight into the frying pan.
It’s so cold that even the ATM shows minus.
It’s so cold that the Statue of Liberty put her torch inside her dress!
It’s so cold people with spiked hair were being arrested for carrying around a dangerous weapon.
It’s so cold my mail shattered when I tried to open it.
It’s so cold we had to punch a hole in the air just to get outside.
It's so cold that the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses.
It’s so cold teenagers began to worry about getting goosebumps rather than acne.
It was so cold that we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
It was so cold that I saw a Greyhound bus and the dog was riding on the inside.
It’s so cold washroom attendants have started putting salt boxes next to the toilets.
It’s so cold that Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.
It’s so cold that I’m breathing out snowflakes!
It's so cold that our words froze in midair — we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we could hear what we were talking about.
It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It’s so cold we were afraid to spit because it can ricochet.
It’s so cold it’s colder than any room packed with ex-wives.
It’s so cold the anticipation of waiting for my ketchup to come out of the bottle lasted three months.
It's so cold that the band changed their name to Red Cold Chili Peppers.
It's so cold that trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
It’s so cold walruses were visiting the hardware store in search of more insulation.
It’s so cold every kind of cereal in the cupboard is frosted – including the boxes!
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