It’s so cold a glacier was seen heading slowly down the main street of our town.
It’s so cold I swapped my pillow for a grill.
It’s so cold I saw Superman taking a taxi.
It's so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.
It’s so cold washroom attendants have started putting salt boxes next to the toilets.
It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.
It’s so cold that the snowflakes froze in the air and birds used them as stepping stones to get from tree to tree.
It was so cold that we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
It’s so cold the cosmetics counter at the local department store started selling cream for goosebumps.
It’s so cold travel agencies are advertising tropical holidays to Alaska.
It’s so cold we were afraid to spit because it can ricochet.
It’s so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp post.
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
It’s so cold the police told a robber to freeze, and he really did.
It’s so cold I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
It's so cold that polar bears wear jackets.
It’s so cold that I have to wave a blow-torch in front of my nose just to have a sneeze.
It’s so cold dogs are wearing cats.
It’s so cold Levi Strauss started making electric jeans.
It’s so cold I left Starbuck with mocha lattes and by the time I got to the car I had fudgicles.
It's so cold that when cows are milked, ice cream comes out.
It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
It’s so cold I tried to take out the garbage, but it refused to go.
It’s so cold fish were jumping out of the ice holes and straight into the frying pan.
It’s so cold our table cutlery now includes a saw.
It’s so cold the flames of our fire froze.
It’s so cold we have to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our clothes!
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.
It’s so cold you could rob me with a bucket of water right now!!
It's so cold that our words froze in midair — we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we could hear what we were talking about.
It’s so cold I had to eat ice cream just to warm up.
It’s so cold that Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.
It’s so cold we had to punch a hole in the air just to get outside.
It’s so cold the local graveyard put heaters out for the ghosts.
It’s so cold my mail shattered when I tried to open it.
It’s so cold I actually enjoyed someone spilling hot coffee in my lap.
It was so cold the mice were playing ice hockey in the toilet bowl.
It’s so cold the anticipation of waiting for my ketchup to come out of the bottle lasted three months.
It’s so cold sheep were demanding their wool back.
It’s so cold mailmen watch out for both dogs and polar bears.
It was so cold that I saw a Greyhound bus and the dog was riding on the inside.
It’s so cold that even the ATM shows minus.
It was so cold when I blinked my eyes froze shut.
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
It’s so cold the rats in the alley were bribing the cats for a snuggle.
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It’s so cold every kind of cereal in the cupboard is frosted – including the boxes!
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It’s so cold that when we baked the frozen pizza in the oven for 25 minutes, it was still frozen.
It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
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