It’s so cold I had to eat ice cream just to warm up.
It's so cold that polar bears wear jackets.
It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.
It’s so cold that Grandpa’s teeth are chattering – in the glass!
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It’s so cold we had to punch a hole in the air just to get outside.
It’s so cold fish were jumping out of the ice holes and straight into the frying pan.
It’s so cold kids are using a new excuse to stay up late: “But Mom, my pajamas haven’t thawed out yet!”
It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It's so cold that our words froze in midair — we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we could hear what we were talking about.
It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
It’s so cold my hat wrapped itself in a scarf.
It’s so cold we had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!
It’s so cold I saw a gangsta with his pants pulled up.
It’s so cold the rats in the alley were bribing the cats for a snuggle.
It’s so cold that even the polar bears started drinking hot chocolate.
It’s so cold the police told a robber to freeze, and he really did.
It’s so cold ice cubes are coming out of my tap.
It’s so cold we have to put skates on just to move around the house.
It’s so cold that Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.
It’s so cold walruses were visiting the hardware store in search of more insulation.
It's so cold that trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
It’s so cold refrigerators are redundant.
It’s so cold cops are tasering themselves.
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It’s so cold our table cutlery now includes a saw.
It’s so cold every kind of cereal in the cupboard is frosted – including the boxes!
It’s so cold dogs are wearing cats.
It’s so cold a glacier was seen heading slowly down the main street of our town.
It’s so cold travel agencies are advertising tropical holidays to Alaska.
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
It’s so cold I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
It's so cold that people started chipping their teeth on soup!
It’s so cold that I have to wave a blow-torch in front of my nose just to have a sneeze.
It’s so cold the flames of our fire froze.
It’s so cold that bed bugs promised not to bite you as long as they can snuggle in your pajamas.
It’s so cold I tried to take out the garbage, but it refused to go.
It's so cold that I’m drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.
It's so cold hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
It's so cold that the band changed their name to Red Cold Chili Peppers.
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It’s so cold teenagers began to worry about getting goosebumps rather than acne.
It's so cold that when cows are milked, ice cream comes out.
It was so cold when I blinked my eyes froze shut.
It’s so cold mailmen watch out for both dogs and polar bears.
It’s so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp post.
It’s so cold my mail shattered when I tried to open it.
It’s so cold I saw Superman taking a taxi.
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
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