Chuck Norris once went to mars. Thats why there are no signs of life.
Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. Too many tsunamis.
Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.
Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
Chuck Norris used to beat up his shadow because it was following too close. It now stands 15 feet behind him.
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.
Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, because no one fools Chuck Norris.
Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
Chuck Norris just put up a new sign outside his house...
It says 'Welcome, Spanish Inquisition!'
The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Chuck Norris can stand at the bottom of a bottomless pit.
The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It didn’t work.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light
Chuck Norris can delete the recycling bin.
Chuck Norris has a diary. It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Why did Chuck Norris wear knee pads?
He never liked Bruised Knee.
Chuck Norris doesn’t shower, he only takes blood baths.
When Bruce Banner gets mad he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad he turns into Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris gets mad, run.
Have you heard that Chuck Norris has started building non-sqaure homes?
He's on a round house kick.
Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar...
The bar breaks in half.
Chuck Norris won a 10 minute race after giving his competitors a 10 minute head start.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Chuck Norris once bowled a perfect game with a marble.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of Pi.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris has a gun for breakfast at ate a glock every morning.
When Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity... he got it back.
Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can speak French... In Russian.
Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
Chuck Norris doesn’t mow his lawn
He sits on his porch and dares it to grow.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
Go to BabaMail
