Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once stared into the abyss...
It blinked.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.
Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. Too many tsunamis.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.
When Chuck Norris goes skydiving
the earth falls toward him.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people
Then the grenade exploded.
Why did Chuck Norris wear knee pads?
He never liked Bruised Knee.
Chuck Norris invented airplanes because he was tired of being the only person that could fly.
Chuck Norris doesn’t shower, he only takes blood baths.
Chuck Norris doesn't ever call the wrong number. You just answer the wrong phone.
When Chuck Norris enters the room, even the chairs are standing up.
Chuck Norris has died aged 79.
But Death is too scared to let him know.
Chuck Norris was bitten by the worlds most venemous snake.
After hours of excruciating pain and misery, the snake died.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, he chews bees.
Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, because no one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick butt at the same time
Chuck Norris has a bear rug.
No it's not dead it's just too scared to move
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris changed a lightbulb...
With one hand he held the bulb, with the other he turned the house.
Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
Waldo once insulted chuck norris.
And we all know how THAT'S going.
Chuck Norris's Blood Type is AK-47.
In Pamplona, Spain, the people may be running from the bulls, but the bulls are running from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
When Chuck Norris smokes a joint
the weed gets high of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
Did you know Chuck Norris was in every star wars movie?
He played the force.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
Have you heard that Chuck Norris has started building non-sqaure homes?
He's on a round house kick.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins.
Before he forgot to bring a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
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