Chuck Norris knows the last digit of Pi.
Chuck Norris can beat his reflection at rock paper scissors.
Chuck Norris has a bear rug.
No it's not dead it's just too scared to move
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. Too many tsunamis.
Some kids pee their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name in dry concrete.
Chuck Norris used to beat up his shadow because it was following too close. It now stands 15 feet behind him.
Chuck Norris’ cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
In Pamplona, Spain, the people may be running from the bulls, but the bulls are running from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris looked directly at the sun today...
And the sun got so scared it hid behind the moon.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Waldo once insulted chuck norris.
And we all know how THAT'S going.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Chuck Norris doesn't ever call the wrong number. You just answer the wrong phone.
Chuck Norris caught COVID.
But then he felt bad, so he let it go.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris invented airplanes because he was tired of being the only person that could fly.
Chuck Norris fell into a black hole.
The black hole couldn't escape.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris once bowled a perfect game with a marble.
Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
This morning Chuck Norris was shot.
Check the news, The bullet is in critical condition
The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. Once.
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
Chuck Norris doesn’t shower, he only takes blood baths.
Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people
Then the grenade exploded.
Chuck Norris can only have Chuck Norris as babies.
Because all of his genes are dominant.
When Chuck Norris enters the room, even the chairs are standing up.
Chuck Norris can stand at the bottom of a bottomless pit.
Chuck Norris has died aged 79.
But Death is too scared to let him know.
Chuck Norris spices up his steaks with pepper spray.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris never retreats; He just attacks in the opposite direction.
What's the one office supply you never want to ask Chuck Norris to give you?
The Three-Hole Punch.
Naming a bridge after Chuck Norris is a really bad idea
Because no one crosses Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin about.
The only time Chuck Norris was ever wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn't. The road moved back underneath him.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
The Dead Sea used to be alive...
... but then Chuck Norris swam in it.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at a Burger King. He got it.
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.
What kind of House does Chuck Norris live in?
A Round House.
Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
Chuck Norris doesn’t mow his lawn
He sits on his porch and dares it to grow.
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