A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and with a screaming voice said, “I have a complaint!”
“How can i help you?” said the librarian looking up at her.
“I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!”
Puzzled by her complain the librarian asked “What was wrong with it?”
“It had way too many characters and there was no plot!” said the blonde.
The librarian nodded and said, “Ahhh. So YOU must be the person who took our phone book."
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back
There was this guy who was married to a blonde, and each night he came home with a new blonde joke.
One night the wife got mad and decided to show him that she wasn't dumb.
She spent the whole next day learning all her states and capitals.
That night when he got home he told his joke.
She says, "I'm not so dumb. I know all of the states and capitals. Go ahead, quiz me."
He thought for a moment and asked, "What is the capital of Massachusetts?"
She quickly replied, "M"!
“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blonde to her friend.
There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
Why did the blonde put sugar on her bed? Because she wanted sweet dreams!
A blonde goes to a soda machine.
She puts in a dollar and gets a soda.
She does this again and again.
A man in line behind her asks why she is taking so long.
She says, "Can't you see I'm winning?"
How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves? She fell out of the tree.
Why did the Blonde go to Taco Bell? To pay her phone bill.
Why did the Blonde go to the Apple Store? She wanted a Big Mac meal.
Did you hear about the blonde who stayed up all night to see where the sun went? It finally dawned on her!
A Blond walks into a doctors office and says: "Doctor, what’s the problem with me? When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts... When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!" The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."
What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common? They're both empty from the neck up.
Two blondes are walking down the road when one says "Look at that dog with one eye!"
The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says "Where?"
A blonde was cruising down the highway at breakneck speed when a cop pulled her over.
“May I see your license and registration, please?” asked the cop.
Miffed, the blonde said, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my license and today you want me to show it to you!”
A blond rings up an airline.
She asks, "How long are your flights from America to England?"
The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute..."
The blond says, "Thanks!" and hangs up the phone.
“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blond to her friend. There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
Why do blondes wear ponytails? To hide the valve stem!
What goes: vroooom-schreech, vrooom-schreech, vroooom-schreech? A blonde at a flashing red light
What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of a pool? Air Pockets What has 12 feet and an IQ of 40? A Blonde-tourage.
What does a blonde do when her laptop computer freezes? She sticks it in the microwave!
A blond rings up an airline. She asks, "How long are your flights from America to England?" The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute..." The blond says, "Thanks!" and hangs up the phone.
A blond gets in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing.
She calls the police and reports a theft.
When the police officer comes, he looks at the blond who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."
A blond gets in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing.
She calls the police and reports a theft.
When the police officer comes, he looks at the blond who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."
One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt.
The doctor asked her what had happened.
She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I picked up the iron instead of the phone by mistake.
"Well that explains one ear, but what about the other?"
"The bastard called again."
Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? Because it said 'concentrate'.
Doctor: "You look exhausted."
Blond: "I am. When your nurse phoned me yesterday and told me that I have to come today for a blood test, I spent the whole night studying for it."
What's the mating call of the blonde? "I'm sooooo drunk!"
Why was the blonde woman talking into an envelope? She was trying to send a voicemail!
Why can't the blonde write the number eleven? She didn't know which "1" came first!
What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde? Perri-air.
What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear? "Thanks for the refill!"
What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? Run like hell, she has a grenade in her hand.
Why shouldn't you even think about dating the blond outfielder who got hit in the head by a baseball?
Because she's a bad catch.
Why can't the blonde write the number eleven? She didn't know which "1" came first!
This blonde was walking down a road carrying a bag, when a guy came along.
The guy asks, "What are you carrying?"
"Melons," the blonde replies.
"Cool," the guy says.
"If I can guess how many there are, can I have one of them?"
The blonde giggles and says, "If you can guess how many there are, you can have BOTH of them."
A redhead tells her blond stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian." The blond replies, "Oh my God. You slut. How many is a brazilian?"
What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear? Data transfer.
Why do blondes make bad bankrobbers? Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards
Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes? Toes Go In First.
“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blond to her friend.
There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
Why do blondes take the pill? So they know what day of the week it is.
How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? Knock on the door.
How do you drown a blonde? Tape a mirror to the bottom of a pool.
How did the blonde try to kill the bird? She threw it off a cliff.
How can you tell a blonde has used your computer? There is white out on the screen.
Why did the blonde give up online shopping?
The trolley kept falling off the computer.
What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey Team? They drowned in Spring Training
What do you call a blonde holding a balloon? Siamese twins
Why do blondes wear hooped ear rings. So they have somewhere to put their feet when having se*.
Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms? They think their picture is being taken.