A couple moves into to a new home. After a few days, as the husband returns home from work, his wife says to him, "Honey, one of the pipes in the bathroom is leaking, could you fix it?"
"What do I look like, a plumber?" Asks the husband, and goes to sleep.
Image by: Stockimages / freedigitalphotos.net
A few days later, the wife once again turns to her husband and says, "honey, my car doesn't start, I think it may need a new battery, could you change it for me?".
"What do I look like, a mechanic?" asks the husband with a frown.
A week goes by, and the wife once again turns to her husband and says, "Dear, the roof is leaking, could you do something about it?"
"What do I look like, a roofer?" asks the husband. "Take care of these things yourself!"
He then leaves home for a week on a business trip. "When I come back," he says to his wife, "I'd like all these things taken care of."
He comes back a week later and is astonished to discover the roof is fixed, the car is running and the pipes are brand new.
"Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls at his wife.
"Nothing at all." said the wife. "The neighbor popped in and turns out he's a
handyman, he said he'd fix the whole thing if I just bake him a cake, or sleep with him."
"Wow," said the husband. "What kind of cake did you make him?"
"What do I look like," exclaims the wife, "a baker?"
|
Joke: Wedding Decisions
A bride and a groom are with a pastor finalizing details for their wedding day. The pastor asks them whether they want a traditional or contemporary wedding...
This Joke Starts With a Man Working Late
A businessman works late to be with his young secretary, but eventually makes his way home. He begins to think up his excuses...
This Joke Starts With Two Dogs Mating in Someone's Yard
Two guys are riding in a car when their conversation turns to their respective sex lives. One proposes alcohol as a method of getting more action...
Joke: The Old Golf Partner
When a husband and wife are discussing golf, the husband is surprised at her suggestion of a golfing buddy for him. But he soon realizes she has a point...
Short Senior Jokes that'll Make You Crack Up!
Just because you're getting old, it doesn't mean that you have to stop laughing. Here are 25 short senior jokes that'll really tickle your fancy.
Hilarious: What Would Our Pets Write In Their Diary?
We all know there are major differences between dogs and cats, but it was only after we found their secret diaries that we really understood how deep a difference it is...
Innovation or Insanity? 15 Bizarre Concepts
People leave you wondering where on Earth they got a certain idea that they had. These 16 photos really need to be seen to be believed.
Want a Laugh? Try These Witty Lines!
The best jokes and phrases are the ones that completely catch us off guard. Here are 14 very witty and unpredictable jokes and phrases.
12 Naughty Dogs Caught Being Cheeky While You Were Out
So this is what your dog is doing when he has the house to himself!
Hilarious! These Kids REALLY Hate Shopping!
While loads of teenagers and adults simply love to shop till they drop, the same can't really be said for most kids, as these hilarious photos prove!
Hilarious: Grammar is a Funny Subject!
These grammar jokes will have you on the floor they are so ridiculous!
The Funny Side of Having Too Much Technology...
It's crazy to think about how most of us have become attached to our cellphones, but there's a funny side to the whole thing. Take a look at these memes.
This Stand-Up Routine is as Funny as They Come!
This has got to be one of the funniest stand up routines of all time by Kevin Bridges. He may have a confusing accent, but he's a straight shooter and no doubt about it - a very funny man.
20 Of The Funniest Spelling Mistakes You've Ever Seen
A compilation of the funniest and weirdest spelling errors and grammar mistakes you will come across.
Excuse Me, Interior Designers? May I Ask... WHY?!?
These terrible interior design mistakes are so bad they're actually hilarious.
So Funny: Have You Ever Seen Christmas Trees Like THESE?
These are the most unusual Xmas trees you have ever seen!
My All-Time Favorite Broken-English Signs
English may be well-known but it's not always well-written. Here are some hilarious signs
Watch These Funny Animals Get Into Mischief!
Watch this video compilation of animals and pets getting into funny situations.
Funny Today: Caught in the Hood!
This cop pulls people over and asks them to lift their hood. When he slams it shut, he screams because little Johnson got caught under the hood and is stuck!
Funny: Is This the Youngest Thief in the World?
This prank is a real funny one. Imagine you see a little girl being taken away and treated like a real criminal, what would you think?
These FUNNY Spring Jokes Will Blossom Your Mood!
Enjoy this hilarious collection of spring jokes and puns.
These Veterinarian Signs Made Me Laugh Out Loud!
Veterinarians have the most hilarious ways of looking at the crazy moments in your pets life and these signs are proof of that!
FUNNY: 51 "Chinese" Proverbs the Chinese Never Thought About
These proverbs aren't really Chinese, but they're still really funny! In fact we're willing to bet they'll make you laugh out loud! Enjoy!
These Funny Signs Excel At Stating the Obvious...
Some signs that you come across in life literally leave you scratching your head. Their messages are so obvious that they beggar belief. Take a look.
Hilarious: These Animals Decided to be Jerks Today
Animals are lovely, but even they have the scoundrels that annoy the rest!
These Photos Show That We Live in a Cat's World...
Cats bring us much joy, but they can also be extremely naughty and just spend most of their time doing whatever they like. Here are 15 hilarious photos.
When Parking Signs Get a Sense of Humor! (15 Pics)
Who knew no parking signs could make us laugh too?
20 Hilarious Road Signs You'll Only Ever See in Australia
The land down under has a language of its own as you can see by these signs that are equal parts strange and hysterical
This Amusing Prank Involves a Frying Pan...
This prank video starts with a pan falling from up high...
Hilarious: Only in Dubai...
Dubai is a unique country, and offers some sights you'll probably never seen anywhere else in the world...
Well, You Won't See THESE Every Day!
In this captivating collection of images, we delve into the extraordinary and the amusing.
10 Jokes That Are So Bad, They're Actually Funny!
Sometimes jokes are so bad that they're actually funny. Here are 10 bad jokes that will make you chuckle!
These Chatty Parrots Will Crack You Up!
Talking parrots provide their owners with many hilarious moments, especially when they are in a chatty mood...
Never Thought Bathroom Signs Could Be So Funny! (Rude)
These hilarious bathrooms signs are sure to make your trip to the little boy's or girl's room much more enjoyable!
Are You Old? You'll Know It If...
There is some debate about when you can actually be considered old. Let's make it real simple. If you find these funny, you are probably old...
What On Earth Were People Thinking When They Did This???
People can get things horribly wrong even when they only have one job. These 27 "you had one job" fails are utterly hilarious.
These Hotel Goofs Will Make You Laugh Out Loud
Hotels are usually pretty nice, but as you're about to see, you will sometimes come across some hilarious bloopers.
Stand-up Comedy: What Men Really Think of Their Marriage
Marriage is certainly a blessing we all appreciate. But that doesn't mean we can't have a good laugh about it! This portrayal is cynical, but deadly funny!
Hilarious: What Is the TRUE Meaning of Marriage?
This is why all young lovers look forward to marriage....
Dad Jokes: A Hilarious Collection of Terrible Crack-Ups
These terrible dad jokes are guaranteed to tickle your funny bone.
These Cartoons Prove That with Great Age Comes Great Humor
Laughter is the best way to deal with all the negatives that comes with old age. Therefore, we have compiled 11 funny senior cartoons for your amusement.
The Wit and Humor of Groucho Marx – Funny Compilation
Sit back and enjoy this hilarious compilation of the funniest Groucho Marx insults and one-liners.
HILARIOUS: The Very Best of Classic Blonde Jokes!
Blondes aren't stupid, but these classic blonde jokes are still really funny.
Mr. Bean Never Expected a Round of Golf Like That...
Mr Bean decides to treat himself to a round of crazy golf. He starts off with a fantastic hole in one, but things start to take a turn for the worse…
Translations Gone Wrong – 15 Hilarious Examples
These funny signs are proof that bad translations can have hilarious results.