
1. I’m going to have to ask you to leave. You’re making everyone else look bad.
2. Do you have an inhaler? Because you took my breath away!
3. My doctor told me I'm lacking vitamin U!
4. Are you an omelet? Because you’re making me eggcited.
5. Are you from Paris? Because Eiffel for you!
6. Are you a banker? Because you've got my interest!
7. Does your face work at McDonald's? Because I'm lovin' it!
8. You remind me of an overdue library book, because you've got 'Fine' written all over you.
9. Hey gorgeous, is your name Wifi? Because I’m feeling a connection!
10. You look exactly like my future ex-wife.

11. You are hotter than the bottom of my laptop!
12. Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else.
13. You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy!
14. You like sleeping? Me too! We should do it together sometime!
15. Please call an ambulance, your beauty is killing me!
16. What time do you have to be back in heaven?
17. Was your Dad a baker? Because you’ve got a nice set of buns.
18. There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn’t have your number in it!
19. Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire!
20. I'm going to have to call the cops, because you just stole my heart!

21. No wonder the sky is grey today, all the blue is in your eyes...
22. It looks like you dropped something - my jaw!
23. Life without you would be like a broken pencil… pointless.
24. Is your dad an art thief? Because you’re a rare masterpiece.
25. Is your last name Gillette? Because you are the best a man can get!
26. If you’re going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon!
27. I’ll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.
28. If I received a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have exactly five cents.
29. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together.
30. If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don’t worry... I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas!

31. I think I could fall madly in bed with you...
32. I may not be a genie, but I can make all your wishes come true!
33. I love baseball so take me home, baby!
34. I don’t have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?
35. Girl, you've got more legs than a bucket of chicken!
36. Do you like short love affairs? I hate them. I’ve got all weekend!
37. Could you please step away from the bar? You’re melting all the ice!
38. Do you play soccer? Because you're totally a keeper!
39. Are you from Mexico? Because you're my Juan and only!
40. Your hand looks heavy... Can I hold it for you?
Hilarious: 2-Line Jokes to Make You Scream with Laughter
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Lighthearted Retirement Questions With Even Better Answers
Retirement has many secrets. Here are some important, 'hard' questions about this phase of life.
Understated and Unforgettable Comic Gems!
If you've never seen Pie Comic by John McNamee before, then you need to take a look at this post. His comic strips are hilarious!
This Joke Starts With Three Dogs Walking Down the Street
Three male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful female poodle. She tells them that whoever has the best way with words would get her...
Are These the Most Honest Bars of Soap Ever Made?
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These Building Blunders Will Make You Smile
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168 Dad One-Liners So Bad They’re Good
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These Dumb Actions By People Will Leave You Aghast
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14 Photos Taken Just Before Chaos Unfolds
These perfectly timed photos are hysterically funny!
Humor and Irony Clash in These Funny Photos
The pictures you're about to see are so permeated with irony that they are scarcely believable. Here are 29 of the most ironic pictures you'll ever see.
10:58
Watch These Funny Animals Get Into Mischief!
Watch this video compilation of animals and pets getting into funny situations.
Hilarious: Classic “Why Me?” Photo Moments
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FUNNY: Cakes That Serve Up Laughs With Every Slice
These 17 cakes deliver messages that are just as entertaining as the events they were made for.
12 Funny Pics of Superficially Renovated Buildings
Take incongruity of these 12 buildings with their purpose is hilarious!
Hilarious: The Many Differences Between Men and Women
These images will show you clearly why they say that women are from Venus and men are from Mars. Take a look at these amusing images for a good laugh.
Fresh Laughs From Nate Fakes Comics
Artist Nate Fakes creates wonderfully hilarious one-frame comics. Here are some of his best ones.
The Funniest Misused Quotation Marks
These funny quotation marks are going to make you laugh all day!
2:22
These Dogs Clearly Overestimated Their Physical Abilities...
Watch the hilarious video collection of dogs who fail at being dogs.
15 Retirement Bumper Stickers That Will Make You Laugh
These bumper stickers are perfect for someone who's retired, yet still retains his or her sense of humor! Which one would you go for?
Hilarious! The Joys of Motherhood - As Animals See Them
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A Funny Prep Guide for Parents
If you aren't able to perform these 8 exercises successfully, you probably aren't ready to have kids...
17 Quirky But Lovable Cat Pictures You’ve Got to See
These cats spare no effort to make us all smile!
8:03
This Has Got to be the World's Funniest Orchestra!
This orchestra not only provides you with great music, but great laughs as well.
Prime Examples Of Just How Strange the English Language Is
The English language is filled with numerous strange sequences and things that don't make sense like this fascinating and funny tidbits
15 Funny Quotes That Capture the Chaos of Real Friendship
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15:48
Challenge: Try Not to Laugh at These Hilarious Dogs
Dogs, as you're about to see, are extremely funny creatures. This video compilation will leave you laughing out loud.
22 Funny Observations Made Around the World...
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If Animals Could Talk - Hilarious Comics to Sweeten a Day
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These Home Listings Really Went the Extra Funny Mile
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These Ideas People Had Are Way to Crazy to Believe!
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Hilarious Solutions from Everyday "Engineers"
Here is a collection of masterpieces that may just inspire you to try some engineering for yourself:
Lighthearted Moments of Workplace Mishap
The foolishness that these workers exhibit is unbelievable but hilarious!
What the Heck Were These Builders Thinking?!?
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Hilarious: I Have Some Important Questions...
If you're anything like us, you must really want an answer to these questions...
Hilarious: Some Sights You'll Only Find in Alaska!
Alaska is a special kind of place. Here are some hilarious photos that will prove to you - you're in Alaska, buddy! See for yourself.
Hilarious: Cozy Christmas Cartoons Worth Watching
Here we've collected for you a series of funny Christmas cartoons for you to enjoy and to share with your family and friends!
Dog Owners Share Hilarious Lookalikes
Dog owners were asked to show what other animal, object, fictional character, or person their beloved pet resembles the most. The results are hilarious!
Hilarious: Creative Problem-Solving at Its Finest!
We all know that there is no limit to human creativity, and that's great. Only sometimes, maybe there SHOULD be a limit..
1:23
What Would You Do If You Found a Crashed Spaceship?
If you see what looks like a crashed alien ship by the side of the road, would you stop?
HILARIOUS: When Words and Wit Share Space...
19 funny signs that were written on purpose to be hilarious and witty.
Unintentionally Funny Signs That Had Us Laughing
These hysterical signs are funny without ever knowing it, which is why they really cracked us up!
When Cats Attack, Absolutely Nothing is Safe!
These Photos are filled with cats going into attack mode and assaulting everything from their devoted owners to innocent cardboard boxes, blankets, and shoes.
5:36
Here Are 40 Construction Workers Who Came to Work Drunk
These roads were either constructed by the best abstract artists or some one with a severe hangover. Either way, absolutely hilarious.
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