How Taking Responsibility for Others' Happiness Causes Anxiety
The issue usually starts out innocently enough. For a whole host of reasons, we care, and we want others to be happy and feel that the responsibility for their happiness rests on our shoulders. That's why we end up doing everything in our power to ensure that they are happy.
However, the people we care about often still end up unhappy since suffering is an inevitable part of life. This, in turn, causes us to feel a sense of guilt as if we have failed them, and then we feel anxious because we’ve failed.
We tend to almost become perfectionists about this, feeling that other people must not merely be happy, but they must be as happy as possible because we carried out our happiness-inducing job perfectly. Of course, this unachievable standard further increases our anxiety.
We may be under the impression that catering to everyone's desires will bring happiness and avoid conflict. While it's true that conflict increases anxiety, trying too hard to please others in order to avoid it typically causes a greater deal of anxiety.
When we worry too much about the happiness of others, we become afraid of the perceived consequences, thereby fueling our worries and fears with an endless stream of anxiety-triggering “what-ifs.” And thus, the cycle goes on and on.
How to Stop This Behavior
The feeling of responsibility for the happiness of others is a complex web of connected feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which is a type of therapy that revolves around focusing on your thoughts and actions, has been found to be effective at reducing the anxiety that stems from perceived responsibility for others’ happiness.
Begin by tuning into your own actions. Try to spot when you are instinctively catering to the others' needs. Neglecting your own needs and wants should be a big clue. Now, start paying heed to your thoughts. A good time to perform this is when you’re feeling anxious and concerned about a person's state of mind.
Next, you'll have to challenge your mind. Once you’ve become aware of your anxious thoughts, you'll need to question them. Are your worries justified? Are they realistic and rational?
Exchange your thoughts for more realistic ones. You need to feed your brain with thoughts that will allow you to internalize the fact that you can never be fully responsible for the happiness of others, regardless of how much you worry about it.
Finally, use your newly-formed beliefs to direct your actions away from people-pleasing and move them towards people-supporting. This includes supporting yourself. So, what are you waiting for? Give this method a try, and you may just find your inner peace.
You'll Be Happy That You Adopted These Beauty Habits...
There are certain simple beauty habits that you can adopt, and your skin will absolutely love you for it!
What Lovemaking Positions Are Best For Your Age? Find Out!
Just because you've reached a certain age or suffer from a certain ailment, it doesn't mean that you have to stop making love. Learn about these positions.
What's Triggering Your Anxiety? 8 Surprising Causes
8 possible medical conditions that may be causing you to feel anxious.
Find Out How to Remain Cellulite-Free With An Easy Massage
Cellulite is a cosmetic annoyance for many women, but there's a simple way to keep it at bay. Here are two simple massages to remain cellulite-free.
There's No Dysfunctional Family That's Beyond Fixing...
If you think that your family's too dysfunctional to save, you really need to read this guide. Discover what needs to be done to fix a dysfunctional family.
How to Tell Your Children You Have Cancer
What's the right way to tell your children you have cancer, and are there situations where you shouldn't?
How to Avoid the Harmful Effects of Introspection
Listen to spiritual teacher Sadhguru offer profound insights on the dangers of overthinking.
The Many Blessings of Giving Honest Thanks...
These beautiful thoughts bring to light the positive magic that comes from giving honest thanks.
I Had to Share These Beautiful Words with You...
They say life is short, but there are still plenty of incredible experiences you shouldn't deny yourself.
10 Tips for Success by Spiritual Teacher Robin Sharma
Robin Sharma, the author of "The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari," shares his 10 tips for success in this article!
8 Life Lessons We Can All Learn from the Bamboo
This humble plant looks anything but inspiring, and yet, its strength, determination and simplicity are a source of great inspiration. In this article, we will explain why.
12 Steps For Achieving a Relationship to Cherish for Life
If you take these 12 steps, then you'll have a relationship with your partner that you'll cherish forever more.
These Innocent Questions Can Hurt Other People’s Feelings
Sometimes, asking seemingly innocent and common questions can hurt other people’s feelings.
This is Exactly Why You Should Have a Cat in Your Life
Every single cat owner will agree with the message in this video!
An Important Message: Don't Be Anyone but You
You, my friend, are unique. Not only to me, but to the whole world as well. Your uniqueness is one of the things I truly treasure in you.
14 Gestures That Prove Your Spouse Still Loves You
Usually, after several decades of living together, we forget to show our partners how much we still love them, but these 14 little gestures do just that.
16 Beautiful Quotes About Aging With Grace
Enjoy these pearls of wisdom and may they inspire a newfound appreciation for the golden years.
Have You Made Someone Smile Today? You're About To!
Send one of these gorgeous GIF messages to someone dear today.
A Beautiful Way to Relax is Listening to Allan Watts...
This great talk will give you some great food for thought, and explains why many people often feel stressed out.
Inspirational Poem: Life Can Be a Struggle. Are You Ready?
These sentimental words will provide you with plenty of inspiration to face the day and every day that follows.
The Lines on Your Wrist Can Tell You About Your Life...
No one can predict the future, but with enough information, we can make wise judgments about it. Learn what your "bracelet lines" say about your future...
These Animals Will Express Your Love For You!
These animals know how to express love without a word, so we added some beautiful ones you can send to the people you love the most.
An Old Man Teaches a Businessman a Valuable Life Lesson
This businessman learned a valuable life lesson from a kind and caring old man.
Live Longer and Better With These Longevity Practices
These time-tested longevity secrets really do work!
Have a Calmer, Easier Life By Following These 10 Tips
Read these 10 points to find a way to an easier, happier life.
15 Quotes that Will Help Start Your Day Off Right!
These inspirational words of wisdom will get you motivated!
What Is Your Love Language? 5 Ways People Show Affection
We often struggle to understand why our partners don’t understand our way of saying “I love you.” The five love languages can help.
Rejoice and God Bless: The Spiritual Teaching of the Bible
These are the most comforting and inspiring words you will ever hear: the words of Jesus of Nazareth, that fill me with life and hope. Consider, and rejoice.
Such Beautiful, Inspiring Words by Our Favorite Bear...
AA Milne’s classic children’s book are filled with vibrant characters who are infinitely wise with their simple words.
This Father Is a Liar, The Reason Will Make You Tear Up...
This beautiful story of love between father and daughter is one you won't soon forget.
Slow Down and Live More: The Art of Slow Living
Learn how to live a more fulfilling life by doing less in this inspiring video.
8 Great Quotations from the Brilliant William Shakespeare
One of the greatest writers the world has ever seen has these words of wisdom to impart...
12 Helpful Korean Proverbs to Use in Daily Life
Take a look at some beautiful and profound Korean proverbs that are sure to strike a chord with you.
King Solomon's Ring - A Short Story with a Great Lesson
King Solomon decided to send his servant to find a magical ring. A story with an important message about happiness and coping.
If You Feel Like You Can’t Go On, These Tips Will Help
If things hopeless, and if you feel like you can’t go on, try these simple but effective strategies.
If These Thoughts Are On Your Mind, It's Time to Move On
Sometimes in life, it can be difficult knowing when it's time to move on, however I truly hope that this presentation can make things clearer.
When Times Get Tough, This Poem Will Inspire You to Go On
No matter how tough life gets, find the strength within you to 'Keep On'. This inspiring poem will encourage you to do just that.
Animals Have Some Great Advice to Share with Us All
These animals have consented to lend us some of their wisdom. Here are some tips to help you get by...
Choose a Jewel to Learn What it Says About You...
take a look at the pictures of jewelry and select the one that resonates with you the most.
20 Powerful Quotes That Will Uplift Your Spirits
We all have difficult days where the simplest of tasks seem like a huge burden upon us. These 20 powerful quotes will keep you motivated all day long!
This is How You Read a Palm: A Simple Guide
The art of palm reading considered one of the oldest mystical arts in the world. Get to know yourself and others with the help of this simple guide!
Move Through Life With Grace - Stop Being Socially Awkward
This video will teach you some basic social communication guidelines everyone can benefit from.
The Wittiest, Wisest Quotes by Oscar Wilde!
Oscar Wilde was world famous for his wit. These quotes will show you exactly why that was...
Once These Words Enter Your Heart, They Can't Be Forgotten
I hope these inspiring words help you along the path of life.
This Beautiful Story Will Surely Touch Your Heart
This story touched me very deeply, and I know it will do the same for you.
15 Quotes to Help You Take Responsibility of Your Life
Most of us shrug off taking responsibility for failures and blame others. We should all heed the following 15 quotes!
We All Dream... But What Do Our Dreams Mean?
Let's take a look at what some common dreams mean.