Worked Jokes

Bit surprised by the free printer I got with my new computer. He’s called Arthur and he’s worked in newspapers for 14 years.
Mom was a milk maid and dad worked the meat grinder at the local butcher. When they got married they took their vows very seriously.
They really meant it was for butter or for wurst.
A lady sees a cowboy and says "are you really a cowboy?" The cowboy says "why yes mame, born and raised right here in Montana and have worked on the ranch since I was knee high to a pup."

The woman says " I've always wondered why cowboys always wear those big hats." The wide brim keeps the sun off'aya when it's hot and the rain off'aya when it rain'n."

"Why do you all wear vests?" Well mame, it keeps ya warm when it's cold but it leaves your arms free for rope'n and work'n."

"What about the chaps? " "They keep the burrs and brambles off'a ya."

She says "that all makes perfect sense, but what I don't understand is why you'd wear tennis shoes."

"Aww, that's easy, that's so folks don't mistake us for TRUCKERS!"
"I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty."
Have you ever worked in a hotel?
Then why are you checking me out?
Did you hear about the constipated engineer? He worked it out with a pencil. It was a natural log.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
Did you hear about the crow who worked at a call Center?
He was fired for Just Caws.
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
Why was the doctor so paranoid?
He worked in the ICU.
I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"

She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner"

I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here."
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
I've finally worked out why Spain is so good at football
Nobody expects the Spanish in position.
“In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse."
~ Archie Bunker
“When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . . . they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” – Steven Alexander Wright
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