Watching Jokes

I asked my husband to please press pause on the movie We were watching.
He called the dog over for the task, wanted to press his paws.
Girl, are you Netflix?
Because I love watching 'you.'
Would you mind watching my pet parrot while I’m out, as long as it’s not too much of a birden?
"Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you're probably watching the wrong channel."
Alex said, "You are so tall that a stadium is a toilet for you". I replied, "Why are you watching me pee?".
I was watching a new cooking show where you only get to pick one pan to use the whole time…
It's called, "Do You Have The Skillet Takes?!"
I'm going to start watching my caffeine intake because baby you make my heart palpitate.
I would hate to see you go, but I love watching your leaves.
"Warning... I'm exercising, eating right and watching my alcohol intake... which means I'm sober, I'm cranky and I'm sore, so proceed with caution!"
"There's lots of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it." - Josh Billings
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
Why don't we do it in the road?No one will be watching us
What’s the best time to eat a peach while watching a NASCAR race? During the pit stop!
I was watching an Australian cooking show recently and the audience began applauding when the chef made meringue. Which is odd because...
Australians usually boo meringue.
A Great Dentist A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes off his trousers and washes his hands again. The girl has been watching him and says, "You must be a dentist." The guy, surprised, says "Yes! How did you figure that out?" "Easy," she replied, "you keep washing your hands." One thing led to another and they make love. After they have done, the girl says, "You must be a really good dentist." The guy, now with a boosted ego says, "Sure, I'm a really good dentist, How did you figure THAT out?" "Didn't feel a thing!"
How do you know you are a Master Gardener?
There is a decorative compost container on your kitchen counter.
You would rather go to a nursery to shop than a clothing store.
You prefer gardening to watching television.
You plan vacation trips to arboretums and public parks.
Dirt under your fingernails and calloused palms are matters of pride.
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