Walked Jokes

“If you step on a purple mushroom, you’ll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world,” warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods.
He didn’t step on any purple mushrooms.
Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: “We have to get married.”
“Why?” asked the man, smiling.
“I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!”
What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?
"Odor in the court!"
I think we may have been transported to the surface of Mercury because things became unbelievably hot when you walked into the room.
Of all the planets in all the solar systems in all the galaxies, I'm so lucky you walked into mine
I found out my wife is really a ghost.
I had my suspicions the moment she walked through the door.
I endured burnt offerings at the table -
A meal ‘cooked’ by my mother in law
If I hadn’t been married her lovely son
I’d have walked straight out of the door!

I heaved at every charred mouthful
Smiled, and said the meal was ‘divine’
She told me she’d had cookery lessons
But her food was only fit to feed swine!

Is my poem just a fairy story
Or is it a clever allegory?

(Laura Loo)
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by.
The sphinx said to the man, "You may pass if you can answer my riddle: What is wider than an ocean, heavier than a mountain, and unbounded by the laws of physics?"
The man thought for a moment and answered, "Imagination."
"Wrong," said the Sphinx. "The answer is your mom."
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
“Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives.”

- Sue Murphy.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
I just found out my Husband is a Ghost. I realised the moment he walked through the door.
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