Toilet

The interesting the about engineering Toilet Paper.
It's an a-ply-ed science.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it was on a roll.
Corona crisis reaches new level:
Iran out of toilet paper.
Why are people buying so much toilet paper because of the corona virus?
Because when one person sneezes, 100 people shit themselves.
What do you get if you cross a giraffe and a hedgehog?
An extra long toilet brush.
Who took all of the toilet paper at the store?
Assholes.
I got in touch with my inner self today...That's the a last time I use 1-ply toilet paper
I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers.
The Times are rough.
What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?
Wait until he’s finished.
I am on the train and a light just came on saying the toilet is engaged.
Congratulations, toilet!
Why does the rabbit bring toilet paper to the party? Because he is a party pooper.
How long does it take a man to change the toilet paper? We don't know it's never happened. What's the definition of a woman's perfect lover? A man with a nine inch tongue who can breath through his ears.
Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet? Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
I Don't Know Where to Put It
I Don't Know Where to Put It A young virgin couple is finally wed. Each one is nervous about the impending night, but neither is willing to admit it or ask each other about it. Wondering what to do first, the young man calls his father. "Pop, what do I do first?" "Get naked and climb into bed," his father replies. So, the young man does as he is advised. The girl is mortified and calls her mama. "Get naked and join him," is the advice from mama, so she complies. After laying there for a few moments, the young man excuses himself and calls his dad again. "Now what do I do?" he asks. His father replies, "Look at her naked body. Then, take the hardest part of your body and put it where she urinates!" is the dad's advice. A few moments later, the girl again calls her mama. "What do I do now?" she asks. "Well, what is he doing?" mama asks. "He's in the bathroom, dunking his head in the toilet!"
A Blonde at the Doctor's
A Blonde at the Doctor's A blonde woman came in for a routine physical at the doctor’s office. “There you go," said the nurse as she handed her a urine cup. “The bathroom is over there on your left. The doctor will see you in a few minutes.” A few minutes later the lady came out of the bathroom. She hands an empty container back to the nurse. With a relieved look on her face she says: "Thank you! But they had a toilet in there, so I didn’t need this after all.”
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
I got a pear stuck in my toilet. All I needed to do was flush and it was gone.
Because a flush always beats a pair.