You're old enough to know, my son, It's really awfully rude If someone speaks when both his cheeks Are jammed and crammed with food. Your mother asked you how you liked the onions in the stew. You stuffed your mouth with raisin bread And mumbled, "Vewee goo."
Then when she asked you what you said, You took a drink of milk, And all that we could understand Was, "Uggle gluggle skwilk."
And now you're asking me if you Can have more lemon Jell-O. Please listen carefully, "Yes, ifoo Arstilla ungwy fello."
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his dessert? Cause he was stuffed.
Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert? Cause he was stuffed.
The Stingy Lawyer & the Pillowcases
A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove the saying about money, “you can't take it with you", wrong.
After much thought and consideration, the man finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died.
He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillowcases.
Then, he directed her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed.
His plan was to reach out and grab the bags when he was ascending to heaven.
Several weeks after the funeral, the deceased lawyer's wife, up in the attic cleaning, came upon the two pillow cases stuffed with cash.
"Oh, that darned old fool," she exclaimed. "I knew he should have had me put the money in the basement."
Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving? The turkey because he's already stuffed!
What did the turkey say before it was roasted? Boy! I'm stuffed!
Who dosent eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed.
What You Get For Smoking
A husband was addicted to smoking and drinking.
One day, his wife got so angry that she told him: “If you keep on smoking, all of your intestines will fall out.” Her husband didn’t believe her, so he kept on smoking and drinking just like he always did.
His wife was determined to prove herself right, so one day she went out early in the morning and bought some big intestines. She stuffed them in her husband’s underwear as he slept. A short while later, he woke up, let out a huge scream, and then fell silent for the next 30 minutes.
After another 30 minutes of silence, he comes downstairs, sweating profusely. “What happened?” asked the wife.
“You were right! My intestines did come out, but don’t worry honey - after a lot of work, I finally managed to push them back in.”