Short

Yo Mama so short she poses for trophies.
Yo Mama so short she got ran over by a Hot Wheel.
Yo Mama so short she can do limbo under the door.
Yo Mama so short her head smells like feet.
Yo Mama so short when it rains, she's always the last to know.
Yo Mama so short she's Mini-Me's Mini-Me.
You are about one bit short of a byte.
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs.
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs!
What kind of apple has a short temper? A crab apple.
What does a short sighted detective wear?
Suspectacles
Wanna hear a joke about a staccato?
Never mind, it’s too short.
Why did the barber win the race? Because he took a short cut.
Funny Poems Page 1

One evening I wrote to John and I guess I was expressing my frustrations with not having enough time as I had a briefcase full of work to do that evening. Jaymac, in his wisdom, sent me back the following funny but inspirational poem:

Briefcase with an Engine
Poet: John McLeod

Fit your briefcase with an engine
Go skateboarding in the sun
Loop the loop, do aerobatics,
Laugh a lot and have great fun!

'Cook a snook' at paper empires
Save a forest, every tree
And remember, above all,
To do it happily!

It reminded me life is too short to let work frustrate me. Reading John's words of wisdom helped relieve my stress as I found myself smiling when I finished reading the poem. And, smiling and laughing is a great stress reliever!

Many times during my career I let my work control my life. Looking back at the times where I allowed my work to create stress and frustration in my life I now realize what I thought was important really was not. I am not say
What do leprechauns love to barbecue? Short ribs!
The Bucket and Saucer Method
The Bucket and Saucer Method Some women are gathered and the subject of conversation turns to sex and then birth control. The first woman says "We're Catholic so we can't use it." The next woman says "I am too but we use the rhythm method." The third woman says "I'm catholic too but we use the bucket and saucer method." "What the heck is the bucket and saucer method?", the others ask. "Well, I'm five foot eleven... and my husband is five foot two. We make love standing up with him standing on a bucket, and when his eyes get big as saucers I kick the bucket out from under him."