Short Jokes

Hey you long legged girl with the short dress on. I finally found you!!
The unluckiest berry in the group is the one that drew the short straw-berry.
You’re so short, you can swing your legs when you sit on a stool.
The only difference between short people and gnomes is their ability to speak.
Your mom is so short she could ride a Doberman as a pony.
You’re so short you could be drowned by heavy rains.
Why should you not hire short people as chefs? Because the steaks are too high.
A Female Secret Some women are gathered and the subject of conversation turns to sex and then birth control. The first woman says "We're Catholic so we can't use it." The next woman says "I am too but we use the rhythm method." The third woman says "I'm catholic too but we use the bucket and saucer method." "What the heck is the bucket and saucer method?", the others ask. "Well, I'm five foot eleven... and my husband is five foot two. We make love standing up with him standing on a bucket, and when his eyes get big as saucers I kick the bucket out from under him."
I'm going around with a bent knife, so that when I'm short on time, I can cut corners.
Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
They’re always a little short.
What You Get For Smoking A husband was addicted to smoking and drinking. One day, his wife got so angry that she told him: “If you keep on smoking, all of your intestines will fall out.” Her husband didn’t believe her, so he kept on smoking and drinking just like he always did. His wife was determined to prove herself right, so one day she went out early in the morning and bought some big intestines. She stuffed them in her husband’s underwear as he slept. A short while later, he woke up, let out a huge scream, and then fell silent for the next 30 minutes. After another 30 minutes of silence, he comes downstairs, sweating profusely. “What happened?” asked the wife. “You were right! My intestines did come out, but don’t worry honey - after a lot of work, I finally managed to push them back in.”
"Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks."
– Marilyn Wann
"A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short." — Andre Maurois
I don’t always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
Why was the leprechaun fired from his cashier job?
'Cause he was always a little short.
A gnome walks into a bar, and the bartender starts a tab for him. The gnome keeps pounding them away, one after the other. After a few hours, the gnome decides to call it a night. The bartender hands him his tab when the gnome realizes he left his wallet at home. He turns to the bartender and says, "Sorry, I'm a little short."
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
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