State Jokes

"Parenthood: That state of being better chaperoned than you were before marriage." – Marcelene Cox
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
Yo girl are you the 29th state added to America?
Because Iowanna be with anybody else
Not to brag, but I beat the state chess champion in less than 5 moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
Yetis have declared their own independent state in the Himalayas.
It's an abomi-nation.
In what state is the Amazon River? It is in the liquid state.
How do you make Ohio State University cookies? Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
"I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty."
What is the only American State that has ever been married?
Mrs. Ippi.
Could you tell me the oxidation state of this atom and your phone number?
Q: Which U.S. state do tigers like the most?
A: Maine.
There once was a fellow named Abe
And today is the day he was slayed
John Wilkes Booth took his life
As he sat with his wife
Who was visibly shocked and dismayed

In Kentucky Abe Lincoln was born
A State that would later be torn
When a war was declared
And a nation prepared
For a lot of dead soldiers to mourn

He moved the Hoosier State
Where they always have corn on their plate
In the law he was trained
Much respect he attained
Winning many a rousing debate

In The Senate he later would serve
With copious gusto and verve
Then The White House he sought
Which he won by a lot
But many down south were unnerved

As President, Lincoln decided
That the law of the land was misguided
And that slaves should be freed
But the south disagreed
And the country was badly divided

What ensued was a horrible war
Full of death and destruction galore
The battles were heated
The south was defeated
But one aimed to settle the score

Now one hundred and forty-nine years
Local weather reports state there won't be any rain for 1 year, but I drought it.
Which building do vampires always visit when in New York?
The Vampire State Building.
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