Socks

There once was a man from Tibet,
Who couldn't find a cigarette.
So he smoked all his socks,
and got chicken-pocks,
and had to go to the vet.
You're so short if you pulled your socks up you'd be blind.
Why did the potato wear socks?
To keep his pota-toes warm.
What kind of socks does a gardener wear?
Garden hose!
I'm not wearing any socks. And I have the panties to match.
I want to live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
Iron Man's favourite Xmas gifts this year were socks that fire from his feet.
He called them missile toes.
I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way.
“Husbands and wives are irritating. But without them, who would we blame for misplacing our socks?”—Janet Periat
“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.” – Steve Martin
What kind of socks do you need to plant cayenne pepper? Garden hose!
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
We’re not socks, but we make an excellent pair.
What Do You WANT?
What Do You WANT? A man from Peru decided to visit America, although he spoke no English. Upon reaching it, one of the first thing he did was go into a department store. He found his way to the menswear department where a young lady offered to help him. "Quiero calcetines, (I want socks)" said the man. "I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here," said the salesgirl. "No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines,(No I don't want suits, I want socks.)" said the man. "Well, these shirts are on sale this week," declared the salesgirl. "No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines, (No I don't want shirts, I want socks.)" repeated the man. "I still don't know what you're trying to say. We have some fine pants on this rack," offered the salesgirl. "No, no quiero pantalones. Quiero calcetines,(No I don't want pants, I want socks)" insisted the man. As they passed the underwear counter, the man spotted a display of socks and happily grabbed a pair. Holding them up he proclaimed, "Eso sí que es (Now that's it)!" "Then why didn't you just spell it in the first place?!?" yelled the salesgirl.
"I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to." - Albert Einstein
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