A short guy was walking in a hookers street. Everybody could see he was very shy.
He saw a nice-looking hooker sitting on a stool, so he stopped and looked at her with interest.
She noticed his lack of confidence, obviously because he was too short, so she told him, "Don't worry, mine fits all sizes."
So the guy smiled and asked her, "How much?"
She replied, "For you it'll be $90."
So he gave her the money, took the stool, and left.
Some women are gathered and the subject of conversation turns to lovemaking and then birth control.
The first woman says "We're Catholic so we can't use it."
The next woman says "I am too but we use the rhythm method."
The third woman says "I'm catholic too but we use the bucket and saucer method."
"What the heck is the bucket and saucer method?", the others ask.
"Well, I'm five foot eleven... and my husband is five foot two. We make love standing up with him standing on a bucket, and when his eyes get big as saucers I kick the bucket out from under him."
A husband was addicted to smoking and drinking.
One day, his wife got so angry that she told him: โIf you keep on smoking, all of your intestines will fall out.โ Her husband didnโt believe her, so he kept on smoking and drinking just like he always did.
His wife was determined to prove herself right, so one day she went out early in the morning and bought some big intestines. She stuffed them in her husbandโs underwear as he slept. A short while later, he woke up, let out a huge scream, and then fell silent for the next 30 minutes.
After another 30 minutes of silence, he comes downstairs, sweating profusely. โWhat happened?โ asked the wife.
โYou were right! My intestines did come out, but donโt worry honey - after a lot of work, I finally managed to push them back in.โ
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