Shoe

The Naked Girl and the Shoe
The Naked Girl and the Shoe A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend. She was thrilled at the speed. "If I do 200mph, will you take off your clothes?" he asked. "Yes!" said his adventurous girlfriend. And as he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes. Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over. The naked girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel. "Go and get help!" he cried. "But I can't. I'm naked and my clothes are gone!" "Take my shoe", he said, "and cover yourself." Holding the shoe over her pubes, the girl ran down the road and found a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, "Please help me! My boyfriend's stuck!" The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, "There's nothing I can do... he's in too far!"
As the nurse is making the rounds at the old folks home...
She stops by Carl's room and sees him putting black shoe polish all over his penis. Dismayed, she exclaims "no, no, no Carl, you misunderstood. I said remember to turn your clock back."
"Babe is it in?" "Yea."
"Does it hurt?" "Uh huh."
"Let me put it in slowly."
"It still hurts."
"Okay, let's try another shoe size."
A 200mph Wedding Day
A 200mph Wedding Day A newlywed couple gets a special present for their nuptials: a brand new sports car. As they leave the wedding reception, they are so excited they drive faster than they ever had before. "I'll make you a deal," said the groom with a smile. "If I do 200mph, you take off your dress. Deal?" he asked. "Yes!" said his adventurous wife. As he approached 200mph, she begins to peel off her dress. With him unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car soon skidded on some gravel and flipped over. The bride, now stark naked, was fine, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel. "Go and get help!" he cried. "But I can't. I'm naked and my clothes are gone!" "Take my shoe and cover yourself," he said. Holding the shoe over her private area, the bride ran down the road and found a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor: "Please help me! My husband's stuck!" The proprietor looked at the shoe and said: "There's nothing I can do... he's in too far."
What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? Every morning you'll rise and shine!
Shoe laces.
Must attack at once.
Didn't know that was you.
“I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.”
Unknown
There once was a man from Peru.
Who dreamed he was eating his shoe.
He woke up at night.
With a terrible fright.
To find out his dream had come true!
The village blacksmith finally found an apprentice willing to work hard for long hours. The blacksmith instructed the boy, “When I take the shoe out of the fire, I’ll lay it on the anvil; and when I nod my head, you hit it with this hammer.”

The apprentice did just as he was told. Now he’s the village blacksmith.
What's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?
A shoe.
Why did the volleyball player have ropes and shoe strings? They wanted to tie the score.
Yo Momma so poor I saw her walking down the street I asked her if she lost a shoe and she said no she just found one.
Did you hear about the shoe factory that exploded?
Many soles were lost.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Amish!
Amish who?
You're not a shoe!
Why did the blonde only tie one shoe? Because on the bottom it said "Taiwan" (Tie one)