Shoe Jokes

“I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.”
Unknown
As the nurse is making the rounds at the old folks home...
She stops by Carl's room and sees him putting black shoe polish all over his penis. Dismayed, she exclaims "no, no, no Carl, you misunderstood. I said remember to turn your clock back."
The Naked Girl and the Shoe A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend. She was thrilled at the speed. "If I do 200mph, will you take off your clothes?" he asked. "Yes!" said his adventurous girlfriend. And as he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes. Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over. The naked girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel. "Go and get help!" he cried. "But I can't. I'm naked and my clothes are gone!" "Take my shoe", he said, "and cover yourself." Holding the shoe over her pubes, the girl ran down the road and found a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, "Please help me! My boyfriend's stuck!" The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, "There's nothing I can do... he's in too far!"
Whats the difference between a clown and a tall person?
Their shoe store.
Where did the nut keep his money?
In his cash shoe.
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
Everyone knows that it is easier to bury short people. All you need to do is find the correct shoe box.
You must have been the same height, shoe, and clothing size since you were in 6th grade.
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
There was a terrible fire at the shoe factory today...
Over a million soles were lost.
What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died?
His Shoe.
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today.
It was clogged.
Made a shoe out of tea bags for my wife, she said she needed to wipe her nose.
If I gave you my shoe, would you step into my life?
Me without you is like a nerd without braces,
A shoe without laces,
ASentenceWithoutSpaces.
May I tie your shoe?
Because I can't have you fall for anyone else.
A 200mph Wedding Day A newlywed couple gets a special present for their nuptials: a brand new sports car. As they leave the wedding reception, they are so excited they drive faster than they ever had before. "I'll make you a deal," said the groom with a smile. "If I do 200mph, you take off your dress. Deal?" he asked. "Yes!" said his adventurous wife. As he approached 200mph, she begins to peel off her dress. With him unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car soon skidded on some gravel and flipped over. The bride, now stark naked, was fine, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel. "Go and get help!" he cried. "But I can't. I'm naked and my clothes are gone!" "Take my shoe and cover yourself," he said. Holding the shoe over her private area, the bride ran down the road and found a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor: "Please help me! My husband's stuck!" The proprietor looked at the shoe and said: "There's nothing I can do... he's in too far."
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